Yumetou

Hitotsume Kozo ‘One-Eyed Priest Boy’ Found throughout Gensokyo but most commonly in dark and forbidden places, these little menaces are reviled throughout the land. Judgmental, mischievous and child-like, these monsters are harmless compared to other races in Gensokyo. Their true power comes from the ability to see the sins of any they see, which they then relay to the Yamas and Hecate for judgment. Hitotsume Kozo are said to resemble miniature monks with bald heads and one eye, though they can be either gender. They are devote Buddhists, and can be pleased with the correct mantra. They are often seen in the company of the Mikari-Baba, who like them is said to have one eye. Both are spirits of misfortune, with the Hototsume Kozo directing the Mikari Baba onto a chosen target. When alone or without a Youkai to protect them, they enjoy startling Humans and Youkai alike with wild pranks. Particularly the wicked, people doing evil, or just those who annoy them. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= “O-oh really? Its uhh, nice to meet you.” The magician leaned forward with a smile he hoped didn’t look too forced. The eyes of the youkai, one still in her hand, focused on him. He was glad to be wearing his cape, for the flowing shape made his frame all the larger… A gloved hand eased behind him, waving to the group watching nearby. It took him a couple tries before they noticed, and a couple more before Cirno seemed to understand. Turning, she held a finger up with a ‘Shhh’. Before creeping along the path. Mystia, who was nearest, turned to Wriggle, repeating the gesture, before following after Cirno with a slow creep. When Rumia turned with a smile to Daiyousei, she only found the other fairy glaring down at her. The understanding nod Rumia gave instead earned her a pat on the head. Oscar meanwhile, desperate to keep the conversation with the weirdo holding her *actual eye* in her hand glanced down at the body beside her. It was an old thing, wrapped in rags and more bone than flesh. “So ahh, what are you doing?” “Scavenging.” “What for?” What people don’t want.” The phrase was singularly unhelpful. Though Agappa-chan turned to a bag at her side. One hand diving into the knockoff Chanel handbag before she raised her open palm. Between her fingers was a couple paperclips, a Bic pen, lighter and a few bullets. Though what their size was, he had no idea. Her other hand slipped into the bag a moment later, pulling out a black book, marked with elaborate designs. Her next few words were tinged with almost a note of pride. “Humans don’t want these anymore. I’ll make them useful.” Cirno glanced over at the weird man they picked up. The broad cape thankfully blocking them from view. Wary blue eyes glanced back to observe the others sneaking behind her. Well, Mystia and Wriggle sneaking. Daiyousei and Rumia looked pretty casual. The team’s fearless leader turned to Oscar Diggs, giving him an unseen salute. “Thank you Osu! Your sacrifice won’t be forgott--” “Freezing frogs. 1507 counts.” The two words were delivered as calmly as possible. But from the scream which ripped from Cirno’s throat, one would have guessed she saw the end approaching. Or a mighty frog god looking for revenge. With a surge of adrenaline, the fairy leaped into the arms of Mystia, barely able to hold her up. The group and Oscar crowded around, staring from behind her. Even Agappa glanced over with passive interest. Seated on a tree branch nearby was a girl. Though hunched over, she looked like the diminutive Cirno would tower over her. Even Rumia was probably taller by a couple hairs. Most of her frame was hidden behind a scroll she held in her hands, leaving only one eye glaring at them visible, and a half-shaven head of silky black hair. “Interrupting an agent of the Yamas. Punishment: fifty hiccups at your next meal.” She said. Rapidly scribbling down the entry onto the scroll. The fear of the group hovering over everyone before the blue baka managed a glare back at the figure. “H-hey, one thou...one thou...that number’s too small! I’ve frozen way more frogs than--” “Oh, a wise guy eh? Well it says here freezing frogs. 1507 counts. Your punishment’s 30 leg cramps at 3 AM. Don't make me make it 31 leg cramps.” “Ha! Then I just won’t sleep!” “...I don’t think that’s possible Cirno...” =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= What next? = Daiyousei seems pretty put together for the group. Maybe she should help? = What is up with these eyes I mean--Uhhh...want to see me make a fairy disappear? = ...Well this seems a good opportunity to leave. Thank you Cirno. Your sacrifice won't be forgotten. = Push the annoying girl off the branch. Teach that nerd to read curses at you.

Polls close! Coming in dead last with -69 votes, dead meme. First place? Remilia lures a lecherous weirdo into a dark ally before draining him like a capri-sun. The vampire princess is drinking good tonight. I will say I am proud all the options appealed to everyone, and the one that won out was the option I came up with. Glad to see I'm improving at baiting ya'll. This week's bad Touhou Opinion is: Which character is most likely to have canonically eaten a human? = Flandre 'I never met a human who wasn't a meal.' = Mima 'How would I even eat someone? I don't have a digestive tract.' = Mystia 'Its not cannibalism if she's not human.' = Ran 'Chen! I brought home a happy meal! He's still smiling.' = Seija 'Sure you're tasty, haven't you ever bitten off a hangnail before?' = Yuugi 'The cowardly are meant to feed the strong' = Yuuka 'I prefer my humans grass fed and free range.' = Yuyuko 'Won't you ease her hunger?'

And the winner is...Flandre is gooboo. Sorry, executive decision. The runner-up though, Flan is a loving but playful little sister. Humanity has hope after all. Next Bad Touhou Opinion! "Hey, mister..." = "Do you want to have sex?" = "Yo man. Fuck?" = "Do you want to have Fumo?" = "Do you want to eating hamburgah and potato everyday?" = "Did you know the average human body has 1.2 to 1.5 gallons of blood? Wow, that's a lot. You probably don't need all of it, right?" = "There is no meme. Give me your wallet."

And the votes are in! A well-meaning fairy and her friends win out with their uncooked eels. Hopefully Mystia will recover from the lawsuits in the next thirty years. Today's Bad Touhou Opinion is a simpler one. Flan. Flan is... = Remi’s loving and rambunctious little sister. = The comfy basement NEET who games all day. = A troubled youth who needs a friend in her life. = A homicidal maniac kept in check with constant treats. = Flan broke under the weight of her fractured psyche a long time ago; everyone else in the mansion is just her clones standing on one another's shoulders, living out the happy pampered life she always dreamed of.

Mikari Baba ‘Winnowing Basket Borrowing Hag’ Youkai of greed and misfortune, they are said to resemble old women missing one eye, though Agappa-chan is pretty cute. They are stingy and shameless, wandering from house to house to beg for food and other items. Yet they prefer to eat scraps and use broken tools. If you refuse, they will creep into your home to steal things from you. They dwell in abandoned homes or sheds around villages and farms. Mikari Baba are often seen scouring fields after a harvest for the last grains of rice. Mikari Baba usually appear once every eight days, and seldom seen otherwise. They have very poor eyesight, and struggle to see things more than half an inch from their face. They are also said to have a fear of things with many holes, mistaking them for many eyes watching them. They are often seen in the company of Hitotsume Kozo, a one-eyed Youkai resembling a youth with a shaven head. These miscreants record the misdeeds of any they encounter, bringing these lists to the goddess of Hell and the Yamas. If a person’s misdeeds outweigh their good deeds, the Mikari Baba are sent to bring bad luck to the wicked. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Oscar's first instinct was to back out. His day had been full of excitement and unpleasant surprises enough. But as the five girls stared up at him, he felt his willpower begin to crumble. The silent, innocent gazes doing more than anything they could say. With a sigh, he started down the road, the five figures shuffling around him before watching from behind. Silently exchanging thumbs-up and high-fives at narrowly avoiding the walking disaster that was Agappa-chan. Only Daiyousei sat out the celebration, watching him as he strolled towards her. The worried gaze returned to Rumia as the youkai took her hand with her first smile of the evening. "Why are you frowning? Osu will be fine. He saved me. Agappa's not as scary as Kimiko, right?" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Poor Oscar was scared out of his wits. In the course of an afternoon, he had met two Youkai outside Wriggle and the other one. The first had pretended to be friendly to get close, before coming so close he could see down her throat. The other had chased him through the forest while he held the first. Half the youkai he had met wanted to eat him. Dealing with Kimiko or even Wriggle had been a relief next to Rumia's charming exterior. Their honest natures at least a small relief. Now he was going to meet a youkai even Rumia hesitated to speak to. Just what kind of terror did this girl hide? Dress shoes weren't the best thing for creeping along a dirt path, but somehow he managed it. Oscar remembered an old story about how stepping sideways was quieter, so he did his best. The girl, whether she noticed him or not, seemed preoccupied with checking the body's pockets. The only sounds to be heard was the pounding of Oscar's heart and the sound of rummaging fingers. It was only when the strange girl was in arm's reach that he realized he had no idea what he was going to say to her. With nothing better in mind, all he could do was slowly manage the first thing that came to mind... "Uh...hey..." The face of the youkai turned towards him. At first glance, Oscar had no idea why the others were so worried. She had a cute face, sure, but compared to Rumia or Cirno, she was practically plain. The dark hair had long bangs combed to either side, and a messy ponytail in the back. A cute nose with an unassuming expression gazed back at him from a pair of bloodshot brown eyes. The rest of her body concealed beneath her yellow raincoat and boots. She assessed him for a moment, only the word 'Ningen' escaping her, before going back to her looting. "Want to see a magic trick?" The head turned back towards him. He couldn't be sure if her stare was sullen, curious or indifferent. But it seemed the closest thing to concurrence he was going to get from her. After a moment of thought, he reached to the rose blossom in his buttonhole. Waving it to and fro in the way he was used to. It was normal for his typical clients to touch it, gaze in awe or even scrutinize him for the trick. The even gaze she gave him was much more unnerving. Trying not to let it distract him, he held out the rose. Letting his glove surround the flower, before pressing down hard. A moment later, the corner of a silk handkerchief appeared from beneath his thumb. At that, Agappa blinked. Before a hand rose to one of her eyes. At first, he thought she was just rubbing them in a way he was used to. Before he realized her finger had slid inside the socket. With a sound that made him feel as if he would be sick, she produced the eye between three fingers, holding it out towards the kerchief. If that were not enough, the orb swiveled on the ends of her fingers to scrutinize the trick more closely. It took him a moment to fight back the urge to vomit. His own eyes went back to the kerchief, before giving the corner a pull, producing it before her. Waving it to and fro again for her to observe. Thankfully, she did not remove the other eye. With a careless toss of the fabric, Oscar blew upon it. In an instant, the kerchief caught flame. Fire engulfing it, before leaving him standing before her. Rose back in its button hole. Despite his disgust, he managed a half-hearted smile. "Ta-daaa..." The words were not helped by his jazz hands, no matter how they swayed. The girl called Agappa merely stared at him. Both from the eye in her head, and the one in her hand. Scarcely had Oscar time to think of his next move, before her voice cut through his thoughts. "That was a waste." "A what?" "You wasted a good handkerchief. You could have used it for something more valuable." "Well...I thought it would impress you." "Oh." Silence returned to the roadside. Though thankfully he didn't need to spend so long figuring out what to say next. "I'm Agappa Harume. My friends call me Agappa-chan." =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Examine the fallen body. Maybe asking her what she was looking for could endear her to you? = "...You have friends--I mean can I be your friend?" = Signal the girls to sneak around while you keep this one-eyed terror distracted. = "I'll set fire to the rest of your things if you don't let us pass." = "Okay no I know this icon's on cooldown but I have to ask what is up with your eye?" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= OoC: Sorry for the delay folks! I've recently packed and moved across country, and my job decided to keep me busier than usual my last two weeks. I'm hoping to take a job which will give me more regular hours in a few weeks. I don't know how my new job will pan out, but for now I should have less trouble posting regularly.