Bad 2hu Opinions

[Yumetou]

(Depicted: The Moriya Shrine's finest lore masters debate the true questions of our age) 

 

I have a habit of asking joking, incendiary questions on the Moriya Shrine Discord. They're meant to be funny questions, without any kind of ill will. I thought I would bring that back to the forums themselves, as a game. I, or anyone else, will post a question, with a set of options with reactions beside it. Choose the one which most represents your opinion. You can voice your thoughts in more depth if you would like, or include a Bad Opinion poll of your own! Feel free to join in the fun. I'll post a new poll the week after, and you can voice your Bad Opinion once again.

 

To begin with, a callback to a topic by Sir I soon after I joined. Which is the Worst Character in 2hu?

 

 = Strongest Fairy
 = Reisen, but in a Hat
 = Patchouli's Nameless Slave
 = Rule 34 Fox
 = Goddess of Con Artists

 = Two-Panel Green Maid
 = Red Sanae

Edited February 8 by Yumetou

[d34thkvm]

seija did nothing wrong actually

[Yumetou]

Well guys, the polls are in, and its a tie between the objectively correct answer and Cirno. Since the next few days will be super busy for me, I thought I may as well give you all my Bad Touhou Opinion for the week in advance.

 

One of these characters has kidnapped you to be their Valentine's Day date. Which would be the most miserable for you?

 = Tenshi. Wants to do something exciting and fun, pushing you both into increasingly dangerous situations. Demands slaps instead of kisses, and calls you 'master' even after you ask her to stop.
 = Parsee. She is jealous and protective of you and always looking for a way to ruin your date. But no matter how bad things get, she wants to keep the date going. Prefers PDA to make others jealous.

 = Yukari, who has pulled you into her Gap World so you can watch TV with her as she crochets. The house smells of cat pee, and she wants you to call her 'Mommy' when you kiss or hold hands.

 = Yoshika. Smart, but with a wandering mind. Will read you romance poetry, but is stiff and robotic. Unable to feel romantic feelings or pleasure, but appreciates you trying. (Also, zombie).

 = Yuuka, who smashes your computer so the two of you can go on a four hour nature walk. Will probably step on you at some point.

 = Seija. She asked you on a date, kidnapped you when you said no, and generally wants to do the opposite of what you do.

 = Rumia. She doesn't want to date you, just fatten you up with a big dinner before trying to eat you.

 = Alice. Your date starts off charming and romantic, with no expense spared. But she becomes increasingly unhinged as the night continues. The date ends with with her demanding you marry and have children so she will 'always be relevant to someone'.

Edited February 12 by Yumetou

[Yumetou]

The vote was sadly delayed due to a rough few weeks on my end. But now its time to tally! And our worst St. Valentine's Day date is...Seija, congratulations! You are worst girl, and probably very happy with that. Though to be honest, I am just proud this list I made has a yandere Alice kidnap and forcibly marry you, and it still didn't get a single vote. Glad to see all my options were roughly equally terribad, but Seija won out in the end!

 

New Bad Touhou Opinion (TM) for your viewing pleasure. Please enjoy, and vote humbly.

 

You are stuck between one of these pairs on an intercontinental flight. You may chat with them, but they will mostly interact with one another regardless of your choices. Which would you choose?

 = Reimu and Marisa arguing over whether Reimu's anger management or Marisa's kleptomania require therapy. Reimu only yells once or twice, but your wallet is missing.
 = Mokou and Kaguya, who have brought a TV and a console to play Smash on at max volume (no, you cannot play).
 = A judgmental Satori who brings up your darkest moments and past search history, as well as Koishi who seems creepily delighted at your tastes in doujins.
 = Yuyuko and Yuuma, who have brought a buffet's worth of food for an eating contest. They're pleasant but very loud and messy eaters.
 = Toyosatomimi and Byakuren in the middle of a fierce but respectful religious debate.
 = Reisen and Junko, who are mostly silent save for occasional incendiary comments about Lunarians. This slowly builds until they start a fistfight, with you in the middle as the plane lands.
 = Akyuu and Kosuzu, but they whisper to each other about how you are a stinky creep. If you make any rapid movements or speak to them, they pepper spray or taze you.
 = Rinnosuke and Genjii. They're both pleasant and soft-spoken, but Genjii snores and Rinnosuke keeps putting his hand on your thigh and keeping uncomfortable eye contact.

Edited February 25 by Yumetou

[Yumetou]

And the polls are In! I may have left this one poorly balanced, but modifying the conditions seemed unfair. ;) The busty buddhist and the jokey hermit win our contest, with Satori giving verbal CBT a close second. The only reason I am sure she lost is because you would have to hear Koishi excitedly giving her opinion on Metamorphosis.

 

And now, this week's Bad Touhou Opinion! Reimu wants to kill you. A lot. What did you say to upset her so much?

 

 = "No donations."
 = "I think I ate the last of your food."
 = "Want to help me cook that turtle?"
 = "What happened to Mima?"
 = "Sanae is a better main character."
 = "Man. My shrine/temple/church is way more popular than yours."
 = "I want to date a Youkai."
 = "Show me your armpits. Now."

Edited March 4 by Yumetou

[Yumetou]

Polls closed! An even distribution of votes, I am proud of myself. But the winner goes to 'I think I ate the last of your food'. Bit of an overreaction over some hazelnuts and two tangerines, but.

 

Today's Bad Touhou Opinion is brought to you by 'browsing random videos at 3 AM'. Enjoy! Food poisoning is rampant in Gensokyo. What's the most likely cause?

 

 = Marisa has started a TV Dinner line, and asked Reimu to pick mushrooms for her. She picked the wrong ones.
 = Mystia is sick, so Cirno, Daiyousei and Rumia decided to help her out at her food stand. Stoves are dangerous though, so they serve her eels raw.
 = Suika is bored and heard Corona Virus was strong. So she wants to fight it, and won't let anyone's cells stand in her way.
 = Joon has an idea for a new scam. Vegan hamburgers.
 = Honestly, I have no idea but its probably the Lunarians' fault.

[Yumetou]

And the votes are in! A well-meaning fairy and her friends win out with their uncooked eels. Hopefully Mystia will recover from the lawsuits in the next thirty years.

 

Today's Bad Touhou Opinion is a simpler one. Flan. Flan is...

 

 = Remi’s loving and rambunctious little sister.

 = The comfy basement NEET who games all day.

 = A troubled youth who needs a friend in her life.

 = A homicidal maniac kept in check with constant treats.

 = Flan broke under the weight of her fractured psyche a long time ago; everyone else in the mansion is just her clones standing on one another's shoulders, living out the happy pampered life she always dreamed of.

[YuyuPhantasmagoria]

4 hours ago, Yumetou said:

And the votes are in! A well-meaning fairy and her friends win out with their uncooked eels. Hopefully Mystia will recover from the lawsuits in the next thirty years.

 

Today's Bad Touhou Opinion is a simpler one. Flan. Flan is...

 

 = Remi’s loving and rambunctious little sister.

 = The comfy basement NEET who games all day.

 = A troubled youth who needs a friend in her life.

 = A homicidal maniac kept in check with constant treats.

 = Flan broke under the weight of her fractured psyche a long time ago; everyone else in the mansion is just her clones standing on one another's shoulders, living out the happy pampered life she always dreamed of.

Flandre is gooboo

[Yumetou]

And the winner is...Flandre is gooboo. Sorry, executive decision. The runner-up though, Flan is a loving but playful little sister. Humanity has hope after all.

 

 

 

Next Bad Touhou Opinion! "Hey, mister..."

 = "Do you want to have sex?"
 = "Yo man. Fuck?"
 = "Do you want to have Fumo?"
 = "Do you want to eating hamburgah and potato everyday?"
 = "Did you know the average human body has 1.2 to 1.5 gallons of blood? Wow, that's a lot. You probably don't need all of it, right?"
= "There is no meme. Give me your wallet."

[Yumetou]

Polls close! Coming in dead last with -69 votes, dead meme. First place? Remilia lures a lecherous weirdo into a dark ally before draining him like a capri-sun. The vampire princess is drinking good tonight.

 

 

I will say I am proud all the options appealed to everyone, and the one that won out was the option I came up with. Glad to see I'm improving at baiting ya'll. This week's bad Touhou Opinion is: Which character is most likely to have canonically eaten a human?

 

 = Flandre 'I never met a human who wasn't a meal.'

 = Mima 'How would I even eat someone? I don't have a digestive tract.'

 = Mystia 'Its not cannibalism if she's not human.'

 = Ran 'Chen! I brought home a happy meal! He's still smiling.'

 = Seija 'Sure you're tasty, haven't you ever bitten off a hangnail before?'

 = Yuugi 'The cowardly are meant to feed the strong'

 = Yuuka 'I prefer my humans grass fed and free range.'

 = Yuyuko 'Won't you ease her hunger?'

Edited Tuesday at 01:42 AM by Yumetou