How to draw?

[Gou the frog]

You know this might be the best time to upload this; Congratulation on your marriage Zun!!!

View attachment 2649

 

[CountVonNumenor]

Aye, my turn to trade,

This is the finished version and version of a piece I drew in 14 as I was rushing for an event as this might get into my newly opened pixiv. View attachment 2611

ow that I have seen AspreyFM play Yakuza Kiwami for the past few weeks, seeing Goro Majima feels a little different. At least as a spectator, it was quite fun to see him randomly coming out of nowhere, each time in a more and more creative way, and challenge you to a fight, only for you to kick his butt again and again the "Majima Everywhere" quest, if I can call it as such. I wonder if he will return in the following streams (I am not familiar with the story of the game, and last time I saw him, let's just say he got out quite rough from the last story relavant fight against Kiryu). 

Aso the watermelon scene is something I like, given that MTB also made a Touhou MMD version of it.

As for my own things, I have nothing new bu this. Not sure how relevant it is: 

 

[Drunken_Flower]

CAUTION
DENSELY PACKED POST
 

you got a drawing tablet?
well yea i know someone skilled enough to use only mouse, but drawing tablet makes a huge difference.
not to be confused with graphic tablet, yeah it's better than drawing tablet but only so slightly.

ok so to the advices

Mindset advices:

Spoiler

1. understanding how you improved and looking back
the growth is not linear, you can not expect to improve with each drawing.
sometimes you feel good, sometimes mood goes down, sometimes you got enlightment, you learned something new, you forgot something and etc.
this a graph that visually explain what i just said
View attachment 2722

accepting this fact will often save you from depression and sometimes keep you motivated

2. the worst thing for you to do is to stay in your comfort zone, keep experimenting, dont bind yourself to 'style'.
have a favorite artist? try to copy them! (granted you know the basics beforehand)
yeah sometimes you'll get worse result, but then you'll know what not to do.
if you get good result, hey you improved! congrats! take notes and improve more!

i have some examples for someone that kept staying in their comfort zone for years now
their works had no improvements at all, they kept stalling at that level.
if you want to see it, i can expose him to you. ?

3. doing stuff your own way is a NO go
references References REFERENCES
 

having to something to take example is a must, drawing something that already exist purely from imagination is impossible.
you need to take a look and understand how it works.
that's why renaissance painter have a model standing(or sitting or any pose) in front of them.
nowadays it's just got easier since we have photos and images at hand.
sure you will develop 'visual library' a.k.a remember how it works and draw from memory, not imagination, those two things are different.
but you need something to fill those memory first.

ok to put an extreme example; you wanted to write a book, you decide to invent a new language with your own writing system and even the book formatting is from your own devising.
if you sane and reasonable you can imagine how it gonna end up.

Someone once told me that drawing is more than just combining styles from others, as that would only end up in some sort of "Frankenstein" work

pshh, what are they saying?
everything new in inventions is always a combination of pre-existing thing

also personal take; doing references to stuff like movies or music or any media you like is quite fun to do
you did that with majima yeah that's something

4. seek professional help
me
um yeah i might not fit for a 'professional', that title usually for supervisor and director and such, but im quite confident my works met industry standards.
DONT YOU EVER LISTEN TO n00bs!
they dont know what they're saying.

i have proof im an industry standard


Spoiler
here's drawings that i didnt post outside discord

5. One block at a time
you seem to already did this to some extent but i'll put this here anyway.
you only have two hands! although this a false representation..*cough* You only have one brain (yes two sides but one consciousness)!
overwhelming yourself will drain your motivation, do it one at a time, especially boring stuff like learning.
for example:
you want to draw beautiful face! learn how to draw head!
the eyes looks dead! learn how to make beautiful eye!
she's bald! HAIR!
my head needs body!
my pose boring!
and so on.




Basics, construction and theories advices


Spoiler
1. Volume
first thing to start... a cube ?, understand that it has volume, not just a flat surface
im feeling a bit lazy with my explanation but this seems simple enough that you can research your own.
yes we deal with 2D projection, drawing is all about illusions, giving it 'volume' will make it look 3D
then you can move to cylinders or spheres, you good to go as long as you understand volume.
no, you dont need to know shading to suggest volume.
you need to know volume to give shading.

2. body constructions
you know that stick figures thingy
the thing that matters the most is proportions. PROPORTIONS!
it's all about proportions, make sure the length, width and relation of each bodypart is reasonable
there's some guides on how long each part is, it doesn't need to be extremely accurate, some parts have flexibility, like head size, leg length even belly button placement.

there's also topic of 'relations'
basically how a feature interact with other, like how far the eyes whould be from each other, how high the nose compared to eyes and so on.

overtime you will develop visual library and wont need guides no more, but it's good to go back once in a while to refresh.
no, you dont need to know anatomy at this point
just the placement and stuff.

3. confident lines
i see that you found BAM Animation already, ye good channel.
i dont rember what that video say and i might repeat what they say.

one line to rule them all!
scratchy line is a no go, have confidence, make a long brush stroke
bad line? deal with it! no ctrl+z, use eraser.
confident person is more appealing than cowards.
even if it's imperfect that's fine.

4. avoid symbolism, draw like a painter
y'know we've been taught how an object is shaped, we give them all outline and assign them to an object, like an emoji.
for example ?️ ? ?️
                         ?
View attachment 2724
you dont need to draw every lines an object is formed on
you need to change your mindset from drawing to symbols to drawing shading
i think i have a video in that matter



Spoiler




keep the hair simple, abandon individual strands, group them together
overdetailing is something you want to avoid all the time
5th probably the nicest, smooth and simple, just the highlight too much.
also my edit

View attachment 2725

 

[CountVonNumenor]

you got a drawing tablet?
well yea i know someone skilled enough to use only mouse, but drawing tablet makes a huge difference.
not to be confused with graphic tablet, yeah it's better than drawing tablet but only so slightly.

Hey, yes, I actually do have what would be a drawing tablet (or is it the latter? I still confuse them). This is my "pro artists setup"
Probably my main enemy has always been (and still is) the following: DRAWING STRAIGHT, FIRM LINES. My hands are always shaky or cannot hold the line properly 

1. understanding how you improved and looking back

Mindset is a huge problem for me, and quite possibly the biggest of problems that keeps me back. A very toxic combination of laziness/lack of motivation, sheltering, extreme level of ambition, a self-imposed need to be competitive/try-hard even when not needed (basically me getting even more jealous than Parsee - how is that even possible?) and getting prone to discouragement when even the slightest thing is going wrong.

Until now, I used to go pretty much ever month into a mental breakdown due to my lack of progress. I see myself as my harshest critic, who thinks I am a staganant human being. At points, I really ended up sending all my frustration into writing:

It has been quite a while since my last contribution to this area of the server. Some may have thought I am gone, but no-one's ever really gone. Anyway, as the title suggests, I ma stuck in solving a problem. Until somewhere in May this year, I felt like having much more energy in drawing, However, since that, I have felt a huge lack of morale, combined with real world stress and other things that have lead to me not being able to do anything to be satisfied with ever since.  The following image presents perfectly the 10 points I have gone through, have identified as weak point, yet which I cannot get out of no matter how much I try.

Here are some conclusions I have come to after watching. I am a bit shocked of how many wrong things I am doing that are just killing my enjoyment of drawing
1) I am way too serious with myself
2) I do not know how to set myself goals, let alone reasonable goals
3) I am drawing just as a hobby, but I stress myself as if I had to submit a work that my job depends on - I am not a professional artist, just someone who likes drawing from time to time to spend some time in a more constructive way
4) I am rushing myself
5) I forget about having fun in creating something
6) I may have a fundamentally wrong way of studying, and I really need a teacher/mentor for proper guidance
7) I am not familiar with the tools I work with, structure, composition, you name it
8) The whole chapter on ”Negative associations”
9) A total lack of foresight, curiosity and simply observing how things work in order to understand how they actually work (be it anatomy, 3D objects or more)
10) Extra: the lack of a direction in what I want to achieve through drawing. I feel like a headless chicken running around and not managing to focus or pick one thing I like and try to see how it works or why I like it (also jumping from one thing to another too often, yet reverting to the same thing no matter if I want it or not I rever to "I must draw like anime. anything else I did own my own sucked")

Also from another dose of writing (also with a portion of forced positive thinking)

[SIZE=16pt]So, how do I put it…?[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=14pt]How it started[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]I do feel like under some sort of pressure, like that I need to achieve something, otherwise I will    remain anonymous however. I feel like few things still bring me any satisfaction anymore. Even things I used to love dearly have become stale and senseless and I think I am slowly getting infected by the same depression one of my friends is going through. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]I was told that I should create new things instead of relying on or trying to copy stuff already done. Somehow, I would do it, and so I did want to give a new spin to something already existent (more or less, since I may seem to follow patterns instead of actually trying new things). The real problem though, as I may have already said it like a million times, is that I do not feel confident enough in my own way of doing things since 1) it is not fully clear for me what I actually want to achieve, 2) I do not have the certainty others will appreciate it and 3) I do draw already existent things because I love them (maybe a little too much honestly), and so feel like they should look the best way possible. Or at least what I conventionally understand as "good-looking"... But for now, it is time to watch the video on beauty of failure[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13pt]Where I am right now[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Most, if not all of my problems and things I have trouble with seem to have been expressed in here. I may still need to find that personal balance though the way that would actually make me happy with my work of all kinds. However, my vision on it is still clouded, and nothing is clear which made me think - "Am I actually happy with what I am doing? What do I actually want from myself? How do people actually see me?” Way too many things that could make for some wonderful questions. However, one thing concerns me. That the recent lesson may have not had enough of an impact on me, and that I will end up reverting to my old ways in a few hours, days at most, which usually happens to me, no matter how well expressed or convincing a message would be. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Now with this done, the hardest part comes: how do you actually figure out what you want to do. Given I have seen so much anime art in the past year (enough for quite a mental overload), and seeing how much all of it is so similar (it is an art style after all, duh..), I ended up thinking that if mine does not look like that, it is wrong or just not good enough, and that is the way I need to draw if I want to end up with something cute. Such was, and still is to some extent, my personal lack trust in own skills and ideas if there are any. Everyone is drawing so nicely around me, which can turn into an intimidation factor if not handled properly, or just as fuel for jealousy, which state I honestly feel to have fallen into. But sometimes, I just need to accept. Even if someone is more talented than me, that person may have spent more years doing that thing in order to become as good as they are, or just got natural born talent they have managed to discover in time and make good use of it. That actually makes me a bit happy, since at least someone else can feel achieved. Also, everyone starts from a low level. Just because the Twitter, DeviantArt or Pixiv account ma not also have available the first images of that artist, thus giving you the impression they have always been maters in what they are doing, it does not mean they did not start from somewhere. I just need to get over that attitude of looking with jealousy on someone who drops a masterpiece of a drawing, saying it was just a 5 minutes doodle while I struggle for days to finish something that is not nearly half a good. Maybe I will reach that level one day too, just with more work on my side. Since I am the only one detracting myself from doing anything. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]But I can see why that is such a wrong idea, just not the solution. Trying to copy someone may only lead you to frustration, especially if done artificially, since each of us is unique in his was of executing a task. Which is an interesting, even if extremely difficult task to achieve. And indeed, I do have that crave to stand out among others, and not just be another random human being in a sea of other faceless people. Some would say I am a bit of a glory hound, which is not completely wrong. However, I do not think it is something unnatural, especially in younger years of your adulthood, when you want to stand out and try defining who you are.[/SIZE]

Sorry for the tedious writing. There is still more to go though...

Also I noticed that the images that tend to give me the least amount of frustration/are the most relaxing to make are whenever I kitbash a tank or try to create new components for that vehicle. It is like the one place where I cannot feel I can go wrong, and I have no pressure to compete against someone else.

2. the worst thing for you to do is to stay in your comfort zone, keep experimenting, dont bind yourself to 'style'.
have a favorite artist? try to copy them! (granted you know the basics beforehand)
yeah sometimes you'll get worse result, but then you'll know what not to do.
if you get good result, hey you improved! congrats! take notes and improve more!

I feel quite stuck actually. Every time I tried something more different, I ended up coming back to anime/manga due to not believing it is as beautiful. I have developed a very questionable sense of aesthetic, in which 2D anime art is pretty much seen as peak when it comes to being cute/beautiful/gorgeous/seductive/sexy, while no longer being able to see any other art style as being as beautiful. Which is quite an extreme switch from what I used to be like just less than 2 years ago, when i was pretty much making fun of that style. If I were to copy an artist I like, at least based on my current whims I would go with copying Iganashi1 and Linmie. For me, the biggest thing I tend to criticize myself for is not being able to get myself at the level of the artists I like. I also don't really know whether I actually want to copy elements from an artist, or just like their work for its aesthetic. My huge collection of Touhou art is in pretty much any style conceivable, so there is a lot I could pick from.

Iganashi1 (better known for his Eiki art, but still drawing other characters too)

Linmie (some of you might be familiar with her work, especially since I brought her up in the "Art Fixing" discussion thread)

3. doing stuff your own way is a NO go
references References REFERENCES

Despite realizing the importance of reference, I pretty much do not know how to use it. Especially since sometimes I use that reference so much I pretty much end up just copying that thing 1:1.Which is probably not as bad once you use something from public domain or a model of your own, but quite problematic when copying too much from someone else's work - isn't that when you get accused of "tracing"? Or just do not know how to translate it into drawing (like trying to draw and color hair based on a real-life photo of a haircut) But that sure is useful.

also personal take; doing references to stuff like movies or music or any media you like is quite fun to do

I actually did that once. I ended up with a drawing of Tenkyuu based on a frame from MTB's Chimata dance video.

4. seek professional help
me
um yeah i might not fit for a 'professional', that title usually for supervisor and director and such, but im quite confident my works met industry standards.
DONT YOU EVER LISTEN TO n00bs!
they dont know what they're saying.

What do you usually define as professional or noob? Besides the obvious professionals being those who work in the animation/comic/other professional arts industry. Until now, the people I kept most contact with were those I have met on Discord, and who I was very fond of their art. Like semi-professional (?) artists (not big names or experts, but still good enough to draw nicely and get paid commissions). 

As for the video you have linked me to, I am familiar with the content of Ethan Becker. I have seen how usually makes his videos, and was recommended a number of them. I was only told though not to treat videos and other tutorials as "miraculous how-to-do tutorials, as you may end up copying the mistakes of someone else", together with stuff like "even professionals can be wrong, being professional does not mean you are always right". But as a whole, I did try some of the ideas from Ethan at the beginning of last year, only to forget everything and revert to the bad habits of mine.

Someone once told me that drawing is more than just combining styles from others, as that would only end up in some sort of "Frankenstein" work

pshh, what are they saying?
everything new in inventions is always a combination of pre-existing thing

The one who came up with this idea about the "art Frankenstein" was Red from Overly Sarcastic Productions.

here's drawings that i didn't post outside discord

Hey, these drawings are gorgeous! Do you guys have a Discord group and post things there? looking at what you draw, you are pretty much the kind of person I would try to get in my DMs on Discord for how well yo are drawing.

5. One block at a time
you seem to already did this to some extent but i'll put this here anyway.
you only have two hands! although this a false representation..*cough* You only have one brain (yes two sides but one consciousness)!
overwhelming yourself will drain your motivation, do it one at a time, especially boring stuff like learning.
for example:
you want to draw beautiful face! learn how to draw head!
the eyes looks dead! learn how to make beautiful eye!
she's bald! HAIR!
my head needs body!
my pose boring!
and so on.

I am feeling rather random with my work, trying to cover way too much in one go. It is still tempting me whether to draw the entire body or just a section of it most of the time. And I feel like lacking patience to go through every step individually. I really need to get my patience back. 

Alo I have this now. I used to make pixel scale Touhou characters, and now with a template I can do more than that, hopefully more easily 

hey give the man a break
looking to an undressed woman is taboo back then- even now it's still taboo!
that's what happened if you dont have references

I did not really intend to be mean about Michelangelo. It might be just me no longer being able to recognize a realistic woman's body after 2 years and and oversaturation of anime art (and in the past 6 months, exposure to more skin and...artistic nudity because Danbooru). I will sound odd, but after seeing so much art and probably inappropriate photographies (why go to PornHub, nhentai or R34 when all that content can simply be found on Pinterest without feeling the guilt of going to the inappropriate websites and gaining "reference" - ironic, because many of the people I am familiar with on Discord also draw copious amounts of NSFW art, while I am being seen as the odd one for not drawing lewd stuff), I was amazed to find out boobs naturally are not as big as in anime style art (I knew many of them are oversized, but was almost shocked how small real ones can be). 

Basics, construction and theories advices

This whole part is quite interesting. Many useful tips, but which I always forget and sadly never get to use. I should actually pay attention to them.

keep the hair simple, abandon individual strands, group them together
overdetailing is something you want to avoid all the time
5th probably the nicest, smooth and simple, just the highlight too much.
also my edit

View attachment 2725

Hey, that looks pretty neat

 

[buskerdog]

no, you dont need to know shading to suggest volume.
you need to know volume to give shading.

WISDOM 100

Also, not an art expert so I'm sure this is the most basic, repeated advice advice I'm about to give you since it's something I we were told during art lessons at school, but: when you draw something and do shading, imagine where the light source is in your theoretical scene. Pick one point in imaginary 3D space, and consider how light coming from that direction effects how the object your are drawing appears - and stay consistent to it once you've decided its position. Technically you can have more than one light source, but then you're adding another layer of complexity. Now, I'm a pixel artist so I suppose my context is slightly different, but it wasn't until much later that I actually started applying this principle, and I found it improved my art a lot.

Another suggestion I have to make, since you seem to lament the human body so much - have you ever tried drawing non-humanoid characters? Drawing animals would be something different, and since animals being naked is normal, you might find you can focus on taking in their anatomy much more. Who knows, you may even reach a better understanding of how to draw people from drawing animals.

 

[CountVonNumenor]

Another suggestion I have to make, since you seem to lament the human body so much - have you ever tried drawing non-humanoid characters? Drawing animals would be something different, and since animals being naked is normal, you might find you can focus on taking in their anatomy much more. Who knows, you may even reach a better understanding of how to draw people from drawing animals.

I used to draw animals for a very long time. At least draw dinosaurs, even if they pretty much looked like something a little kindergartener would have done. Now I feel like I completely lost interest in them, or in drawing animals in general. My problem is that I simply see no reason to do that anymore. But it seems like an interesting option for the study of shapes and anatomy. As for my lament with the human body, it comes mostly from me having a very warped vision of what a real body is anymore, as well as not being sure where to take liberties. I do not want to be a master of photo-realisitc bodies. I just want them to look pretty.

 

[Gou the frog]

I'm a lot wiser after hearing the lecture DK gave. 

Another suggestion I have to make, since you seem to lament the human body so much - have you ever tried drawing non-humanoid characters? Drawing animals would be something different, and since animals being naked is normal, you might find you can focus on taking in their anatomy much more. Who knows, you may even reach a better understanding of how to draw people from drawing animals.

I'm very sure that it will help you like it did with me. So, I have a friend who is really I mean Really good at drawing animals and he understand the basic more than me and that ancient volume but he only drew animals and sometimes superhero. And I asked him how he shifted it so, he had some troubles at first since drawing animal = buff human but yeah, at the end of the day he improved quite immensely. For example:

Spoiler

View attachment 2726

I used to draw animals for a very long time. At least draw dinosaurs, even if they pretty much looked like something a little kindergartener would have done. Now I feel like I completely lost interest in them, or in drawing animals in general. My problem is that I simply see no reason to do that anymore. But it seems like an interesting option for the study of shapes and anatomy. As for my lament with the human body, it comes mostly from me having a very warped vision of what a real body is anymore, as well as not being sure where to take liberties. I do not want to be a master of photo-realisitc bodies. I just want them to look pretty.

I have to say, it would be worthwhile for you to draw 'em again as it would help you in your journey. For the bodies, you're having trouble with the version in your head and without looking too realistic.. hmm, this is quite a case. How about drawing monster well, human noid ones: a mix of animal and human? That way surely you might regain your self. 

 

[CountVonNumenor]

How about drawing monster well, human noid ones: a mix of animal and human? That way surely you might regain your self. 

Like that one thing people would call "furry"? Anthropomorphic animals. I honestly swore to myself to stay as far as I can from falling into such depravity. Also interesting how out of everything I said today, the discussion on animals was what caught your attention. Especially with like how much stuff I dumped in there. 

 

[buskerdog]

I'm a lot wiser after hearing the lecture DK gave. 

D K !

DRUNKEN KONG !

HUH!

He's the admin of the bunch

You know him well

He's finally back

To show and tell

His forum posts

Can inspire in bursts

If you read them

You'll agree their worth!

HUH!

 

[Gou the frog]

Like that one thing people would call "furry"? Anthropomorphic animals. I honestly swore to myself to stay as far as I can from falling into such depravity. Also interesting how out of everything I said today, the discussion on animals was what caught your attention. Especially with like how much stuff I dumped in there. 

Not really, wait did I twist my words (again) Oh well, actually I though about monsters like orcs and those elfs with pointy ears; the point that I was going to make (which failed to) was add a mix of mystical features into your recipe. Well, um..this somewhat inspired; a very good documentation about an original creature "the freak" from an Apocalyptic Animated Short Film 


Spoiler

 

[CountVonNumenor]

Not really, wait did I twist my words (again) Oh well, actually I though about monsters like orcs and those elfs with pointy ears; the point that I was going to make (which failed to) was add a mix of mystical features into your recipe. Well, um..this somewhat inspired; a very good documentation about an original creature "the freak" from an Apocalyptic Animated Short Film 

Ah, now that I see you meant stuff like Orcs, Elves or gremlins, it really does make more sense.  So basically creatures of mythology or from fantasy. 

 

[CountVonNumenor]

I have to say, it would be worthwhile for you to draw 'em again as it would help you in your journey. For the bodies, you're having trouble with the version in your head and without looking too realistic.. hmm, this is quite a case.

I sure tend to be quite a case. Wanting to stylize, yet at the same time afraid to stylize. Try to keep it simple, yet at the same time be obsessed with adding even the most unneeded details. Like WTF. I am also still having a poor habit of believing if my art does not reach the level of this...

...it will not be good enough, and not get the appreciation I am artificially looking for in a pursuit for gratification

 

[Drunken_Flower]

ok so some explanation has the same content in some area.
but i can't just put everything at once.
so you will see some repetition in my explanation.

 Mindset is a huge problem for me, and quite possibly the biggest of problems that keeps me back. A very toxic combination of laziness/lack of motivation, sheltering, extreme level of ambition, a self-imposed need to be competitive/try-hard even when not needed (basically me getting even more jealous than Parsee - how is that even possible?) and getting prone to discouragement when even the slightest thing is going wrong.

Until now, I used to go pretty much ever month into a mental breakdown due to my lack of progress. I see myself as my harshest critic, who thinks I am a staganant human being. At points, I really ended up sending all my frustration into writing:

It has been quite a while since my last contribution to this area of the server. Some may have thought I am gone, but no-one's ever really gone. Anyway, as the title suggests, I ma stuck in solving a problem. Until somewhere in May this year, I felt like having much more energy in drawing, However, since that, I have felt a huge lack of morale, combined with real world stress and other things that have lead to me not being able to do anything to be satisfied with ever since.  The following image presents perfectly the 10 points I have gone through, have identified as weak point, yet which I cannot get out of no matter how much I try.

Here are some conclusions I have come to after watching. I am a bit shocked of how many wrong things I am doing that are just killing my enjoyment of drawing
1) I am way too serious with myself
2) I do not know how to set myself goals, let alone reasonable goals
3) I am drawing just as a hobby, but I stress myself as if I had to submit a work that my job depends on - I am not a professional artist, just someone who likes drawing from time to time to spend some time in a more constructive way
4) I am rushing myself
5) I forget about having fun in creating something
6) I may have a fundamentally wrong way of studying, and I really need a teacher/mentor for proper guidance
7) I am not familiar with the tools I work with, structure, composition, you name it
8) The whole chapter on ”Negative associations”
9) A total lack of foresight, curiosity and simply observing how things work in order to understand how they actually work (be it anatomy, 3D objects or more)
10) Extra: the lack of a direction in what I want to achieve through drawing. I feel like a headless chicken running around and not managing to focus or pick one thing I like and try to see how it works or why I like it (also jumping from one thing to another too often, yet reverting to the same thing no matter if I want it or not I rever to "I must draw like anime. anything else I did own my own sucked")

1st batch

Spoiler

"It has been quite a while since my last contribution"
"1) I am way too serious with myself"
it's fine
you don't need to have a consistent pace, take it easy
i myself just draw when i like, i even ever abandon my followers for 3 months (and totally abandon my other account)
but yeah that is not ideal
draw something for yourself, no need to post it, ragequit also happens even for me, but try you best to keep it minimal

or if you want attention, maybe ask for requests, i find myself not to disappoint someone as a gun to my head.
since it's only a request they cant complain about the quality so that's a safety measure, what matters is the delivery.

ok this kinda out of topic, but Attention of others
this is a very spicy topic and very subjective. you can even say that im calling you out.


Spoiler
artists... uhm no.. humans need attention from another, you know with human being social and shit, you understand what i mean.
do you realize what you've been doing all this time is too seek attention?
if not, then why are you posting it to the internet, why do you share?
why do you even post paragraphs of rant?
even if you say that you do all this things to ask for help or guidance, you needed attention to get some feedback.

accept that you need attention, you're human after all, you're an artist. you need attention.
and if you do accept it, say to yourself "yes i need attention, and i will get it"

there's of course multiple ways to gain attention
skill, friendship, compassion, trends, memes, drama, fights, spam, shouting or even straight up asking for one.
it's up to you to decide which one is the right one, some people even enjoy being the center of a drama.
skill is the hardest route to pick, after all this talk in the thread, i'd assume that is the one you wanted to pick.
and you sure understand how satisfying that route is.

"self-imposed need to be competitive/try-hard even when not needed basically me getting even more jealous than Parsee"
it's also fine, i also run on jealousy, in fact i usually stagnate when have nothing to envy on
"wouldn't it be great if i draw better than that guy?"
"i wanna flex how good i am"
that's why i keep learning, since i understand i will go nowhere without proper practice
maybe it's because my determination to win is bigger than my depression
i manage to turn my jealousy to motivation, that's why parsee is my #1
View attachment 2318

"prone to discouragement when even the slightest thing is going wrong."
sure you'll meet with discouragement
that's why i put the "understanding how you improved and looking back" at the first point
to be honest myself, i have no other way to prevent someone from discouragement.
i can only force someone to accept what they are now
if you don't improve, accept it... if you improve, you definitely will accept it wont you? what kind of insane person reject improvements?

"2) I do not know how to set myself goals, let alone reasonable goals"
"9) A total lack of foresight, curiosity and simply observing how things work in order to understand how they actually work (be it anatomy, 3D objects or more)"
what do you want? keep asking yourself that until you get one specific wish.
find which that piqued your interest.
there's not much to it.

"3) I am drawing just as a hobby, but I stress myself as if I had to submit a work that my job depends on - I am not a professional artist, just someone who likes drawing from time to time to spend some time in a more constructive way"
does it need to be great? who and what are you drawing for to begin with?

having a place to be free might be nice in some occasion (or to vent, be considerate though)
i restrain myself not to be too easy in twitter and such
but in discord im unhinged, drawing memes and shit, i just post the things i like in twitter and even extreme i only post what im proud of in pixiv.
truly a discord.

"4) I am rushing myself"
"5) I forget about having fun in creating something"
i think you understand it yourself to take it easy.
while i understand you wanted to improve rapidly. overexerting yourself will drain your passion.
all i can suggest is take inbetween breaks.
maybe do something by mood
although to depend on rare occasion of mood is not ideal
while my method is just to suck it, it doesn't really work for everyone
it's one way or the other. related to point 3.
what i do know is; you definitely will found joy seeing yourself improved. that's why there's a point about 'looking back'.
so it's all about which path you take.

"6) I may have a fundamentally wrong way of studying, and I really need a teacher/mentor for proper guidance"
i started with 3D without any fundamentals, many often see it as a wrong way.
even when starting 2D i just copied some artworks.
there is no wrong way to learn, just some more effective than other.
then the question is, does it need to be super effective?

"7) I am not familiar with the tools I work with, structure, composition, you name it"
you still learning, can't expect you to understand everything
goes back to 'one block at a time'
and there's a lot of theories, you don't need to use them all

"8) The whole chapter on ”Negative associations”"
im missing context on what situations you were in
do they tell that you sucked or just straight up quitting?
i dont even know how much criticism you can take

10) Extra: the lack of a direction in what I want to achieve through drawing. I feel like a headless chicken running around and not managing to focus or pick one thing I like and try to see how it works or why I like it (also jumping from one thing to another too often, yet reverting to the same thing no matter if I want it or not I rever to "I must draw like anime. anything else I did own my own sucked")
goes back to point 2, 3 4,and 5, it's all related


2nd batch

Spoiler

Also I noticed that the images that tend to give me the least amount of frustration/are the most relaxing to make are whenever I kitbash a tank or try to create new components for that vehicle. It is like the one place where I cannot feel I can go wrong, and I have no pressure to compete against someone else.

eyy i know people that exactly at your situation, they also like tanks. i like tanks, but im not talking about myself,  i wanna play WT but my PC is a potato.
 

I feel quite stuck actually. Every time I tried something more different, I ended up coming back to anime/manga due to not believing it is as beautiful. I have developed a very questionable sense of aesthetic, in which 2D anime art is pretty much seen as peak when it comes to being cute/beautiful/gorgeous/seductive/sexy, while no longer being able to see any other art style as being as beautiful.

i mean... you like anime dont you? then so be it.
why do you try something else, is it because pressure or your own wish? i know a lot of people loathe you for doing anime stuff.
it is a way to start, maybe down the road when you understand more you can do realistic stuff.
although what the masterclass says is to learn realism first then stylistic, i found that it's not very morale friendly. what matters the most is your morale.
it's all depends on what you wanted and what you can take.
there is a lot of choices in the journey, this time you have 2 options:
-heavy morale with fast paced growth
-easy on heart with slow growth
you know, now that i think about it, you don't need to stay in one of the choice all the time.

i know this contradict what i say about 'not staying in comfort zone'
then i'll have to add that you dont need to always experimenting nor always stay sitting in your couch.
while you can depend on your mood, it is not very reliable.
sometimes you may even need to force yourself into the comfort or experiment zone.
it's about managing yourself.

If I were to copy an artist I like, at least based on my current whims I would go with copying Iganashi1 and Linmie

love iganashi, based choice. have you tried @tohoyuukarin?

I also don't really know whether I actually want to copy elements from an artist, or just like their work for its aesthetic

you definitely have something that you like from them.
i'd say copy their whole style with reference first.
when you get a grasp of it you can try blindfolded, then you'll see what you managed to get.

Despite realizing the importance of reference, I pretty much do not know how to use it. Especially since sometimes I use that reference so much I pretty much end up just copying that thing 1:1.Which is probably not as bad once you use something from public domain or a model of your own, but quite problematic when copying too much from someone else's work - isn't that when you get accused of "tracing"? Or just do not know how to translate it into drawing (like trying to draw and color hair based on a real-life photo of a haircut) But that sure is useful.

ok so there's 3 main point you can take, abandon other points to avoid copying 1:1
pose; color palette; design
you can go nuts with pose and color palette, nobody can call you out on that, they'd be an asshole if they do.
design ranged to quite a lot of stuff, costume, hair, eye, settings, etc..
with design depending on how much you copied you may need to credit the original, although kitbashing designs will be your own.
talk about kitbashing, you realize you can combine poses right?

more advanced is for copying certain style
shapes; lines; color palette again yeah
nah i wont talk about this without you understanding the basics and without me having a reference.
it will just overwhelm you.

I actually did that once. I ended up with a drawing of Tenkyuu based on a frame from MTB's Chimata dance video.

eyy nice, you did have fun didnt you?

What do you usually define as professional or noob?

ok so there is 5 stages that i will define
beginner, amateur, adapt, industry standard, professional

-beginner is someone who just picked up drawing, they have a wish to learn.
-amateur is someone who is just started learning, they've drawn, following guides and basics.
-adapt is someone who is already know the basics, started to give thoughts on how a piece should go, they are currently learning intermediate-advanced fundamentals.
-industry standard is as it's name someone who can actually start to join in the industry, minimal as a junior, they follow orders while still cant devise their own identiy. while the are above adapt, they still haven't grasped the fundamentals as a whole that they can make a cohesive piece.
-professional i'd say that you have fully grasped the advanced fundamentals, able to create your own stuff. to easily explain this i often relate them to supervisor and director.

there's a secret class, and that is the 'chosen one'. we dont usually talk about this nor even consider they exist.
*cough* league of legends twitch streamer artists *cough*.
they are shrouded by mysteries, they never had professional learning but they able to create amazing work.
rumors said that they apparently had a revelation, or as a kid they've observed something and it just clicked into their mind.
while their skill is amazing, if you ask them something, they wont be able to teach their way since they dont understand it themself.
"you do this and this like this and you get this" damn you chosen ones! damned ones!

noob is just someone that doesn't know anything, never know, never felt how things work.
it is fine to judge someone simply by looking at their works. although you'd say that's not totally nice, you need a reference before you listen to someone.

only to forget everything and revert to the bad habits of mine.

you WILL definitely forget something.
let's say that you poured a water into glass, and then you spilled it.
there will be some remaining water left behind, even if it's totally empty there's some moisture left on the walls, it wont revert to totally dry.

there will be remaining knowledge that you will get, even if you dont remember it, that will etched to your perception, you will probably feel something off at the very least.

just try to refill the glass when you can, stay hydrated.

I am feeling rather random with my work, trying to cover way too much in one go. It is still tempting me whether to draw the entire body or just a section of it most of the time. And I feel like lacking patience to go through every step individually. I really need to get my patience back. 

hmm while this against one block at a time, minecraft also has tnt that breaks a lot of blocks, although the explosions wont result in a clean hole. yes i put minecraft reference in my explanations, get with the times!
i would suggest if you want to make a full body, draw it as a whole then you can go back fixing it at it later times, do it in multiple passes.
you can call it complete at one time and go draw other two or three stuff to refresh yourself, and then go back to your first one.

I did not really intend to be mean about Michelangelo

nono, what im saying is
the man never saw a woman in his entire life, he dont know how they looks.
hence why man with boobs.

it's ended whew lotta writing.

 

[Drunken_Flower]

wait what holyshit there's 2nd page

so yeah i wrote that above in 2 nights
the first night burnt my head
the 2nd night i do proofreading and some extra

Another suggestion I have to make, since you seem to lament the human body so much - have you ever tried drawing non-humanoid characters? Drawing animals would be something different, and since animals being naked is normal, you might find you can focus on taking in their anatomy much more. Who knows, you may even reach a better understanding of how to draw people from drawing animals.

since you like tanks
cyborg? mech? armor? you can get quite quboid with all those 3

also i forgot to say this but you can find me easily in touhou discord, especially moriya.

 

[CountVonNumenor]

"8) The whole chapter on ”Negative associations”"
im missing context on what situations you were in
do they tell that you sucked or just straight up quitting?
i dont even know how much criticism you can take

Oh, sorry for te confusion created. I all comes from the fact I watched a video called something like "10 mistakes new artists/aspirants make", which was also the source of where I ended up with 10 points of things I noticed on myself. I still need to find that video again though for better content.

Also yes, I am familiar with @tohoyuukarin, I found him/her thanks to Iganashi1's works. 

As for the Moriya Discord, how do I find it?

 

[Gou the frog]

A long rant of mine; Pardon me heavily as I've brought my inner feeling on your thread. 

Spoiler

What if I suddenly lost the passion to draw and just that I'd lose everything about it? It might be hard to come back to drawing. It's like this: I have a lot of sketchbooks but if I drew one bad thing in them, I'll try to open them but then, I can't bring myself to because I don't want to be reminded of my failures; my poor excuse for being an artist. I believe that I am only able to draw well or originally when I am required to do so by request. It reflects upon me as a fake artist that can only draw with references and no original ideas. No matter how hard I tried, I've never been able to achieve the same when I was a lot younger. The fear of failing to meet the deadline as well as not being able to express myself without being frowned upon at school, friends, and my best friend, or so I thought (I want to believe she didn't mean to do any of that) like that one time I promised a friend who is very dear to me but failed to follow through since I've been afraid of my own work. I've been into art for the longest time I could remember, starting with Plants Vs. Zombie. There I found happiness in doing such things as scribbling with crayons, creating a long neck peashooter but with friends that also drew with me. It was the best time to be alive as an a beginning artist. With hopes of becoming a better one while having the most amount of fun in the long journey or so I hoped but as life broke me down with my friend transferring to another place. I doubted myself if I was even having fun drawing in the first place; that day I felt like a lizard whose tail has lost but without knowing what to do next, I decided to go with the flow just let mood decide things for you, simple isn't? No, I don't think depressed artists make better do they? but I don't know about bored artists though, I admire drunken flower for bringing out those replies and experiences of yours and I do think you're very mysterious yet really relaxed. (If I were a woman, I would definitely fall for that flower)

After that long depressing year of 2018, I moved to newer things like looking back at my old drawing which contains pokemon and naruto fanart that is now probably brunt to ashes since my old home had a lot rats and well, we don't really have the luxury of using tissues just yet. (I want to recovered them if possible, and that is for another time at an alternative universe) And I began to wondered what if I tell my parents about my passion? And that's is exactly what I did and they put me in a art school but I'm a lone student and the teacher really opened my view on painting and drawing thing. The number one rule for it is to have fun: "it's something you've created so, why not have a lot of fun at it. It doesn't matter how big or small your work is and if you want to improve keep doing it regularly" he said. And then, I learnt the principal of drawing as such I realized the joy in it. I still don't know what to do with my art at the day. After passing middle school, I found about this project and began noticing that I enjoyed drawing them and the sole reason of why I like it in the first place. And the events continued with finding the Moriya Shrine, making art for a game jam, and with that, I'm now hear currently making an animation and drawing further more. Now, that question me what happens if I do the thing that makes me happy but what if it doesn't and what am I going to do just wait it out and wish it goes back to normal; I don't really know but for now, I'm really enjoying the drawing that I made. 

 

[CountVonNumenor]

Alright, time for an actual reply on my side, as I think I should have added A LOT more stuff. 

"1) I am way too serious with myself"
it's fine
you don't need to have a consistent pace, take it easy
i myself just draw when i like, i even ever abandon my followers for 3 months (and totally abandon my other account)
but yeah that is not ideal
draw something for yourself, no need to post it, ragequit also happens even for me, but try you best to keep it minimal

or if you want attention, maybe ask for requests, i find myself not to disappoint someone as a gun to my head.
since it's only a request they cant complain about the quality so that's a safety measure, what matters is the delivery.

I used to draw whenever I felt like it in the long past, but like I said a few times already, everything changed during the lockdown in March 2020. That is when I actually started to take it seriously, and be bothered of how much I work and what I do. in the past 12 months, I have had long periods of no drawing, and I can probably number on fingers how much I actually draw during a year. Which feels rather disappointing. The ragequit usually happens after 1 (at most 2) drawings, regularly because I do not feel satisfied of the result and the work is soulless. Like when eating tasteless food. You have eaten something, but have you enjoyed eating that thing? As for disappointing, I think the one I am disappointing the most is myself - again, I am my own harshest critic. I know I can always go for more, and do better, but still do not achieve that result. Plus, my whole drawing idea completely shifted from drawing whatever I like for killing some time to only drawing for improving, and fixating on the same topic for over a year.

there's of course multiple ways to gain attention
skill, friendship, compassion, trends, memes, drama, fights, spam, shouting or even straight up asking for one.
it's up to you to decide which one is the right one, some people even enjoy being the center of a drama.
skill is the hardest route to pick, after all this talk in the thread, i'd assume that is the one you wanted to pick.
and you sure understand how satisfying that route is.

Yes, I admit that I might be looking for attention. Perhaps it might be a way to complement the lack of attention I usually get in real life, as I more often than not go under anyone's radar despite my abilities and wish to get involved. As for methods of gaining attention, I would much rather try get it through skill (hard, but honorable), compassion and having at least 1-2 friends to spend my time with. I am pretty much starting to lose the latter for the time being, which makes me feel lonely. 

"self-imposed need to be competitive/try-hard even when not needed basically me getting even more jealous than Parsee"
it's also fine, i also run on jealousy, in fact i usually stagnate when have nothing to envy on
"wouldn't it be great if i draw better than that guy?"
"i wanna flex how good i am"
that's why i keep learning, since i understand i will go nowhere without proper practice
maybe it's because my determination to win is bigger than my depression
i manage to turn my jealousy to motivation, that's why parsee is my #1

I can see how jealousy can be turned into something constructing. In my case though, I still don't really know how to use it for actually creating, and only ends up making me feel more sad, frustrated and stressed than I already am. 

"understanding how you improved and looking back"

I always forget to look back. 

"2) I do not know how to set myself goals, let alone reasonable goals"
"9) A total lack of foresight, curiosity and simply observing how things work in order to understand how they actually work (be it anatomy, 3D objects or more)"
what do you want? keep asking yourself that until you get one specific wish.
find which that piqued your interest.
there's not much to it

I should be thinking more. But I really do not have a clear idea. For me, it is always hard to choose (I always had this problem, even when it came to the most trivial of choices). And when when you though you wanted to do always changes, you cannot find one thing to make sure you actually wanna do it. I have tried, and always reverted to the same thing even if something I want to stay as far as I can from it. The only thing I could thin of is "look cute, simple, yet also detailed at the same time". I could think of what represents me, but not even that is something I am sure of anymore.

does it need to be great? who and what are you drawing for to begin with?

having a place to be free might be nice in some occasion (or to vent, be considerate though)
i restrain myself not to be too easy in twitter and such
but in discord im unhinged, drawing memes and shit, i just post the things i like in twitter and even extreme i only post what im proud of in pixiv.
truly a discord.

I will say it - for me, drawing is no longer that nice, chill activity I am doing for myself; t has become the work of submitting something on Discord and get showed in congratulations and praise. Even when what I just posted looks like a kindergartener's work compared to the next post from a high-end artist. I do not post on Twitter, while my Pixiv and DeviantArt have become void of too much new stuff in at least half a year. I would draw memes and shitposts, but I tend to put too much soul into a work and turn even that shitpost into a piece of art - if you have not guessed it yet, I pretty much obsessed with perfection. In short, I am overworking things up. But due to how far in between my occasions for drawing are, I feel almost like a duty to post that little thing I am doing somewhere. 

while i understand you wanted to improve rapidly. overexerting yourself will drain your passion.

A bit late. I feel like I almost lost even that tiny bit I still have inside me. Whenever I want to take the pen and so something, I feel like I am suddenly getting tired and not wanting to do it anymore, as if depression set up. I am still looking for a path, but I do not see any conclusion too soon with me stuck into almost a dogma when it comes to what I am drawing and the manner of doing so. 

i started with 3D without any fundamentals, many often see it as a wrong way.

How do I even start on the 3D part? Besides the drawing of a cube part. 

goes back to 'one block at a time'

Connected to my rush to get everything done at once. I am missing the days when I used to be more patient about everything I was doing. Not just with art, but be more patient in general. 

eyy i know people that exactly at your situation, they also like tanks. i like tanks, but im not talking about myself,  i wanna play WT but my PC is a potato.

Like I said. I have been doing quite a lot of miniature scale pixel tanks, many times by kitbashing things. I have a few big sets of them, and usually shared the ones I though looked the best with the comrades from Tanks Encyclopedia. Also both of us have potato devices for playing War Thunder. 

i mean... you like anime dont you? then so be it.

I am not very sure. I used to despise anime, or at least be in that bandwagon making fun of it long ago, but then I found Touhou. I still have to watch any other anime but Hellsing Ultimate (Abridged), while Pokemon and Avatar the Last Airbender are not really stuff I would count as "anime". Touhou made me more open towards the art style, but a few months before it was due to a friend that I picked that style at his suggestion. He noticed a bit what direction my drawings were going towards (both of us at the time were trying to improve their skills), and he told me I should try out manga style of art. Soon after though, I cannot remember in what conditions, but a a new mindset made its way into my head - that I like anime art, and that it looks as the perfect middle ground between the cartoons I grew up with and realism. Also girls look cute drawn like that. 

you definitely have something that you like from them.
i'd say copy their whole style with reference first.
when you get a grasp of it you can try blindfolded, then you'll see what you managed to get.

How do I usually go for spotting the thing I like in an image? Especially when I cannot find the words to express it or or even understand exactly what I like. 

eyy nice, you did have fun didn't you?

Yeah, ti was rather nice. I feel that maybe I worked a little too close the original, or that Tenkyyu's face could be made not look like it's melting, but otherwise it is nice. Also probably like the only time I ever draw her not counting the doodle for the big set. Last time I really felt pride with something I worked on was with the doodles from last winter. 

since you like tanks
cyborg? mech? armor? you can get quite quboid with all those 3

Space Marine? Like one of these big guys in power armor

(sorry for coming first with a heretic)

Which is something I already did at least one, though in small form:

 

[CountVonNumenor]

Bonus content: log entry, 20 April 2021

"It has been a year since I started drawing. What initially started as way of spending time during the lockdown in Romania (March 15th - May 15th, 2020) ended up as something that could help me show things that I like in my own way. everything I have drawn through the past 12 months reflects the things I got to like, what phases I have gone through, as well as styles I tried at one point or another. This is gonna be mostly about drawing my experience with drawing human figures, because that related to tanks, pixel soldiers and tanks and kitbashing new vehicles out of existent ones would be a whole different story by itself.

Everything started back in March last year. While in a discussion with some friends about Warhammer 40K, one of us came with the idea of drawing the Imperial Guard. Since at the time I was slowly getting into what was my favourite franchise of the moment, I accepted the proposal and a guardsman from Cadia around the end of the month. Later down the line, in April, I started my first drafts of a homebrew IG regiment, the one that would later become the Voivodian Guard. Inspiration for the Voivodians came after watching online a conversion of the French Old Guard into a 40K regiment, and thought about doing something similar with the Romanian Army from WW1. And that is how the first design of the VG was born, based on the Romanian campaign uniform of 1916. Around the same time, I was also designing the Voivodian Light Tank, built from a Renault Ft.

At the time, my ways of drawing were very rudimentary. Originally, I was drawing by hand on paper, then taking a photo of said drawing and remaking it with a mouse and bucket fill tool in GIMP. I was not yet aware of human proportions, and so the soldier has slightly dwarfish features and broad shoulders.

In May, some changes started to happen. I was still drawing historical and Warhammer topics, but I also discovered a YouTube channel called SMG4. Inspired by one of their characters, Tari, I made my first feminine drawing. But what really made me say ”that’s it, I want to get better at drawing humans” was when trying to draw a scene from the Romanian War of Independence: the capture of Grivița Redoubt in 1877. Seeing how it turned into a bit of a clusterfuck regarding proportions and the whole concept of perspective, as well as not drawing a battle scene in years, I have decided to do my best and improve drawing skills. With an entire summer at my disposal, I took the pencil and tried drawing

However, I was not very sure what exactly did I wish to achieve, and what style to go with. After a series of tests and failures, I was still not fully sure what I was looking for. At the beginning of August, I started watching a web series called Meta Runner, made by the same SMG4. With that, finding out about a second season coming in just two months, I have decided to try draw Tari again. This was the first fan art I have ever done. While showing it to a friend of mine who was also trying to get better at drawing, he told me that my drawings go more towards manga/anime style, and so proposed me to try that style. Looking at it, that did not seem like such a bad idea, since it was going right in the spot I was looking for, just between realism and cartoon. 

Ways of drawing were still relatively the same, with some minor changes here and there. I was still manually drawing at first, then remake the outlines digitally with a mouse in the absence of a graphic tablet to make life easier.

October has been a rather weird month for me. Just as I was slowly recovering from a passion for Rhythm Heaven after watching the Reanimated video, I started drawing more and more chibis. Initially doing chibi soldiers, until the end of the month I got to do one Vocaloid chibi, as well as the chibi version of what would become my first attempt at designing an OC. Until the end of October, I also did have a big version of it. This was the time when I first started using Krita, software which in time I grew to love.

More or less naturally, at the end of October and beginning of November, I got through a transition to Touhou Project thanks to the custom remixes done for Rhythm Heaven. I still remember that one of the first things I have drawn on that topic was basically a remake of a from from Rampaging Sakuya, an old animation video I still enjoy to this day. Also in November, I tried drawing a simplified version of Alice Margatroid, most likely after listening to Marisa Stole the Precious Thing.

In December, I finally got a graphic tablet for Christmas. Even if it is just a simple drawing pad connected to a laptop, where I have to pay attention to the laptop screen when drawing, it meant a significant progress for me because now I could finally draw my things directly on PC. With this, I have done my first two drawings, which which I have also ended 2020 - Project Shrine Maiden and Project Cirno (I really like going with nicknames when doing the drawings themselves, sometimes for the jokes, other times in order to keep the topic a surprise).

January proved to be a challenging month. Cirno really proved herself to be THE STRONGEST, and so I felt like I wanted a break. What started like few days break turned into a week. From a week, it turned into a couple weeks. From a couple weeks, it ended up as an entire month in which I felt drained of any inspiration, and felt like I could not do anything. I was also starting to complain about my own (lack of) skills, considering myself awful at drawing while comparing to others (one of the big mistakes I used to - and which, unfortunately, still do), especially with those who have many more years of drawing experience, whereas I barely had half a year, and from that half a year, only like a couple months and amount of drawings you could count on your fingers. Another sin of mine was (and sometimes still is) the stubbornness and refusal to use reference photos, mistake that can cost you a lot, but of which I cannot get rid of for whatever reason. The only thing that still kept me busy during that month was drawing doodles of various Touhou characters, compilation that ended up as the first thing I have done this year. 

In February, I finally started to get my forces back, and tried to get back at the drawing board. Drawings of the time may seem rudimentary, but I think I got the chance to slowly learn from those experiences in order to better myself. 

March marked another shift in my drawing approach. Until that point, I was trying to breakdown photos of people into basic shapes, and then inspire from those. However, a drawing that did not end well has led to me getting discouraged, as I was not very sure what direction to got to, or where to work more in order to make things look better. That is the time when I have decided to try use instead simpler shapes, my drawings looking some simplified versions of the style used by ZUN. This actually worked for a time, and from there I have started to slowly develop and add new elements to the drawings.

In April, I have continued using the same style as in March, each time trying to add something new. These are also the drawings that started to appear on my account, trying to share them with others and find new ways and opinions on how could I improve upon those. As a bit of a tradition started this year, I have also made a new render of the Voivoidian Guardsman, combining some more rough drafts made through the previous year. Currently, I am using a wheel system that picks me the next topic to draw, especially in those moments when I am not decided what to do. I still have several Touhou related drawings to cover in the following weeks, but I was also thinking about adding new things like soldiers or monuments.

Anyway, the idea is that I should have fun while drawing, idea that I unfortunately forget about more and more often, being stressed for it to look good instead of just making me feel better. There have numerous moments, due to stress, when I was on the verge of a breakdown and just give up. But I am very grateful to those who have always been on my side, supported me and helped me get back up whenever I felt down. Had it not been for such people, there is a chance I would not have been here nowadays.

However, to finish it on a more positive note, I should probably be more hopeful, and think positively. It has only been a year. A messy one to be fair, but still just one year. It may still take time until I find a way of drawing to fully please me, but I have the belief I will get there one day, and through experience, thing can only go for the better. No matter how bitter the failure may be, that should be seen more of a way of learning something new instead of turning it into a tragedy."

Every time I look back at this text, I start thinking how much of a hypocrite I have been even to myself when saying these words, especially at the end. 

 

[CountVonNumenor]

@Drunken_Flower this is the video I was talking about when I was referring to the 10 points:


Spoiler





So why am I still drawing? In a way, I feel like I have to do this. Why? I am not very sure and why necessarily look good? Maybe to worship the new fandom I am a part of and its waifus? It all started with Meta Runner and Tari, and now evolved to Touhou. It is a weird mind that triggered suddenly after reading my first visual novel that I have to draw girls nicely, perhaps as a coping mechanism for the lack thereof in my life, otherwise I would sort of disrespect them (I know they are fictional, so it looks like I have not handled the thing too well). It is like that feeling of not being satisfied with who you are and what you are good at/what makes you different and unique. Especially in regards to an earlier post from this page were I said that if my art does not look in a certain way, it is not good.

At the same time, I am starting to think a bit probably the thing that relaxes me the most and I enjoy doing is pixel tanks (and kitbashing said tanks), even if they look simplistic. Too rarely do I end up being unsatisfied with the result, and it is also the things where I feel I reasonably grew since I started doing it since 2 years ago.

 

[CountVonNumenor]

Since it looks like I am struggling a lot with using my drawing pad for digital, while having better hand moved with pen and paper, I've come to think of a new way to make things easier. Draw something on paper, photo/scan it, then add the paint over. Here is an example based on an old paper drawing I am playing with: