Almost a month too late from my promised answer, but it is finally time to do it. I can no longer delay...
What is a waifu?
A miserable little pile of pixels.
Originally, I did not get the reference. It took me a bit until I saw your second reply and realized it's based on a quote from Symphony of the Night. Very clever :KoishiXD:
On a serious note, I think it's because of 3 main reasons. First, anime and manga display stuff in a perfect and unrealistic manner. So it's only natural to be attached to a character in that way. Heh, it doesn't even have to be a character. I have lost count of the times where I saw a food being cooked in an anime and thought to myself that I wanted to eat that right now (but that's completely different from liking a character so let's get back to the main topic). Since they are "such perfect beings", you might end up longing for them.
The issue of unrealism is something I have addressed in
another thread written around the same time as this one. I think we all people are attracted, or have the tendency to be attracted by perfection to some degree. About the comment regarding food, it happened to me a lot of times too, even if mostly when i was watching cooking shows. I would add more here, but I think some of the ideas will come the more I go through the replies...
The 2nd reason is that there are thousands of waifus, each suited for a different person. If you think about it, there have been thousands of anime/manga/visual novels released, some of them having very bug casts so after watching many of them, one waifu will catch your attention.
Indeed, the market is filed with materials from which to choose. Some might even call it (overly)saturated by it. But I guess that is the selling point it? After all, VNs/dating sims are still quite popular, even if they can be very shallow and copy tropes and formulas from one another.
And the 3rd reason is that, we're lonely. Waifus can give us that affection that we otherwise wouldn't get.
This one strikes close to home. I can't talk too much about myself, but from the perspective of someone who has never been in a relationship, I would say we might be a vulnerable target audience for waifu content. And I think that might even be the ultimate purpose of this kind of content?
The Waifu FAQ is written in a waaaay too much affirmative way, like, the guy conveys a feeling that he knows what he is talking about however it’s kinda bs
It's 4chan where it comes from after all. Some level of BS is always to be expected.
Otherwise if it’s from a cartoon (like Steven Universe or idk) it is traditionally just called a love interest, maybe now people would include it in the waifu/husbando category :/
Usually, I heard the term "cartoon crush" to be used for what would be the Western media equivalents of waifu/husbando.
you don’t need to have the Discord Mod starter pack to have a waifu
This one is quite fun. We are making so much fun of "Discord mods" and associate them wish stuff of the sorts, but it can happen to anyone of us at some given point.
it would’ve been better if instead of saying this « you’re not working towards a goal or anything, enjoy her and yourself », he have said something like « make sure to improve yourself so that you give a reason for your waifu to chose you over another guy »
I like this perspective. It reminds me of a meme I have seen at one point in the past going along th lines of "Best girl this, best girl that / How about you become the best version of yourself to get the best girl irl?" (I hope I can also find it eventually). Perhaps it could work to use them as a motivation factor for self-improvement? Even if they do not exist, at least you can focus on how you could become a better person that could eventually get the guy/girl they like in real life.
A lot of persons are unhappy in real life even with 1000 waifu/hosbando (I’ll write it w/h to make it short) they are depressed and feel empty : fictional love will, sadly, never replace irl love, you don’t learn how to improve yourself with a w/h because they can’t give you advices and there’s more reason about it but I’m gonna keep it short ^-^
I agree on the idea no w/h can replace real love. The may get you feel better for a little bit of time, similarly to a drug, but when the effect goes, you will feel empty again. despite the fact I never really found myself declaring that I have a "waifu" (despite me liking a few characters in the way of "they are cool/pretty"), I know that feeling. It's not a pleasant one, that's all I can assure.
Tbh I don’t really understand what is really confusing you with the waifu concept : you simply feel better with those characters because they convey to you a feeling that makes you feel better or a feeling that you are missing, for example if you tenderness is really missing in your life then you’ll be more interested in sweet and softhearted waifu
To me, the confusing part comes from the fact my exposure to media containing waifu stuff has only been relatively recent. It started about 3 years ago, and was almost as if I was struck by a truck. I went from nothing of the sort to full-on stuff of the sort (especially after I picked Touhou), and it was a big change for me. I did not understand why I was liking the characters so much, as until then I was not the king of guy who would have a favorite character from a series (or even feel stuff similar to a crush for fictional content).
I think that to most people where having a waifu actually means a lot, they are filling for something currently missing in their lives. Well that's the impression I got from listening to this podcast by HealthyGamerGG:
Hello Cana! It's always good to have you in here. Now that you brought up that podcast, I grew curious and put it into my "Watch later" playlist.
Instead, it seems that my "waifu", in this case Patchouli would end up serving more of what I chose (and didn't choose) as part of my online "branding" so to speak, and having her represent me in the internet leads to more familiriaty, in turn making me like the character more simply because I've gotten so used to them. So yeah, I can't really explain why patchouli is my "waifu". Are they my waifu? I don't really imagine a married life with "patchouli knowledge" either. XD
It reminds me of a brief episode from early 2021. At the time, I was still new into Touhou, and my favorite character was Youmu. And since I thought she was cool, just as you do with Patchouli (all my respect), I used an image of her as my profile picture. I t was brief, and it seems like I never came back to it (unless you count my current image of Sakamoto on Discord).
This is the image I have used back then. It is part of a bigger art set made an artist called Hoshiringo. Basically, I like to call these "ZUN portraits, but RTX: ON". There are two big plates, one for EoSD and one for PC:
But upon further introspection, it is true that there's some characteristics about her that I admire. So in a way, those aspects of serving as " comfort character" or even just as a form of motivating myself to reach my goals plays a role here. Patchouli is wise, cool and thoughtful, she also seems to know a lot of things, and those are all qualities I want to have for myself. The complexities of human relationship with others don't seem to be lost even when talking about fictional characters, it seems.
Similarly to what I have told to Nekofire, I feel like characters we like form media can serve as inspiration to improve ourselves. Take a look at what you like/admire about that character, then look at how you can emulate them by yourself. Or maybe you can also look for someone who has some of these traits you prefer? I don't really know, I feel I am not the kind of person who should be talking about this...
As for your comments about what seem to be (mostly) gacha characters, I believe they are fundamentally different from touhou, in the sense that these are made from concept to be marketable (to men, for the most part), even if, ultimately, they are both examples of idealized concepts of people (and as we know, fantasy trumps reality in the eyes of the one that becomes enamored by it), the point is that these character shoot for combinations that make them attractive to the fans upon tried and true industry tradition, similar to how the idol industry works. I believe it's good to be critical of what makes these characters "waifus" for you, as they are often superficial traits that just appeal to your specific yearnings of one nature or another.
Sure, gacha does have that appeal element set as a selling point. A tool to drive sales if we are to call it as such. And I guess this actually works? Given the abundance of the industry, there will always be something that will fit for everyone (I would have originally compare this with throwing dung to a wall and see what sticks, but it might be more than that...). I agree that there is need for a critical point of view, and actually take a look at what makes a character to be a "waifu" for someone. Sometimes, I do not know if I actually like a character, or I just find their design/find the fanart to be very good/attractive.
Therefore, I will try something I do not usually do, and actually talk a little bit about why I like one character or another (despite never having directly called them
"mai waifu" or really thought of them as such):
Hieda no Akyuu (Touhou): I really like bookworm characters (just as much as I like people of that kind in real life). It's something very cute about a character that works as an archivist-chronicles/historian, maybe also due to the fact I like history too. She is a dork, and I would say she is also adorkable. Bonus, I would say that reading Forbidden Scrollery made me find her even more interesting than before, even if many times she may act more like a living encyclopedia (side effect, FS also bumped Kosuzu all the way up into my top 5 2hus).
Tanamachi Kaoru (Amagami): Amagami has been (and still is) a weird episode in my life. Normally, I would stay far from dating sims related media, but this one caught my attention mostly for this character. At first sight, there is nothing too special about Kaoru, but for me (and probably most people), what bring attention to her like a lighthouse is the messy, wavy hair. A lot of art pools add her into "gorgeous hair/haircut", which seems to be the selling point. Also after watching the series itself, I also like her more tomboy-ish nature and way to behave. Overall, I think this might be the first character I have ever been fanboy-ing over.
Yamashiro (Kancolle): normally, I would stay far from games like this one. But I think from her on (if I am to even go to describe other characters mentioned), I would just end up saying that they are pretty. I just have a weakness for short(er) black hair, and I think the Miko outfit something I like (I like the red-white) contrast. Ironically, I have become more curious to learn about the real warship (IJN Yamashiro) that inspired this character, as well as the Fusou-class warships (Yamashiro and Fusou, her sister-ship, are part of this class). So just history stuff...
Byleth (Fire Emblem): again, I just think she looks pretty. I am not familiar with the Fire Emblem series at all, and all I know is that the male version of Byleth was added in Super Smash Bros Ultimate.
Female Commander (GFL): again, I just like how she looks. Nothing else. She's the player's character, so I can't really add too much.
(Not to be a killjoy however, it's good to find things you enjoy regardless). Also, on unrelated note: Your tastes seem very similar to another friend of mine judging by the examples you provided alone
Now you have really made me curious about the tastes of this friend of yours, especially if you say they might be similar to what I have listed...
To conclude: At first glance, I guess it would be easy to equate a waifu to a non-existant wife, but the point of all my ramblings is that these relantioships are more complex and of a different nature, In my opinion. For you to genuinely attempt to replace a real human with a 2d companion, you'd have to be unique circumstance not common even among us weebs. In this, I find the comments made in question 3 of the FAQ you sent to be exceptionally pertinent here.
Interesting. I was not expecting for this to be something extreme even for weebs. I thought it was something associated with them in general...
Also, I've been wanting to watch azumangah daioh. It seems to be similar to the likes of nichijou (both "My Ordinary Life" and "Danshi Koukousei", which I enjoyed a great lot) maybe I'll finally take the time to give it a watch and join the discussion. :KoishiXD:
I have started watching Azumanga Daioh somewhere at the beginning of March, just after I finished with the first season of Amagami SS. The problem is that I have put it on an indefinite hiatus, and I am not sure when I will get back to it. But I really want to finish the series eventually. I am also familiar with Nichijou, and found a lot of clips from the series on YouTube. That series seems to be quite fun, and I really like some of the characters like Sakamoto (and explains why I am using him as my pfp on Discord nowadays).
so basically I found this really nice girl these days and she looks like this:
View attachment 3160
what do you mean she's "not real"
GyateGyate art is always cute.
Okay, so here my real answer to that topic (sorry for that SoTN reference, it was too tempting):
Apology accepted. Once I found out where it comes from, it became so much better.
I personally don't like the concept of "Waifu" at all. You can like/dislike fictional characters, but for me being literally in love with a character is just unhealthy. This is similar to having feelings for someone who doesn't know you and has never seen you (like a actor/actress, for example). In those case, you can develop an obsession with them, where you fabricate an idealize version of them.
Therefore, why I pointed out so many times that usually I either find a character to be pretty looking or be interesting in the way in which they are built/depicted based on their actions and interests. Indeed, the problem of falling into obsession is a real thing, and we really do tend to stick with an idealized version of that individual. Doesn't that happen in real life as well though?
the difference, though, between real people and Waifus is that real people are real (duh), and therefor can do things that do not match your "phantasm" of them, which may help break that obsession a little, by showing you that what you though of them wasn't real. At this point, you can deny it, but deep down you'll always know they are not what you wanted them to be.
I know that the breaking of the illusion has been something negative. Once the "phantasm" is lifted, they tend to either lose interest in that person, or just feel disappointed the partner was not exactly what they thought them to be. It did happen to me once, or better said I was the one someone had illusions about, yet when those broke, things went sour. But I do have a question: can the illusion related to waifus be broken? And if you manage to break it, would that mean a liberation from the phantasm and obsession? I think at some point all of us may have expectations of someone irl, and might feel a bit a bit disappointed when what you thought about them shatters. Therefore a question (taken from French Baguette Syndicate):
do we actually fall in love with a person for who they are, or for the illusion we are projecting about that person?
Waifus, on the other hand, are not real, and their "character/lives" are limited to whatever material they are from (game, anime, novel). If you fall for a Waifu, you know she will never change (unless they are in newly released material). She will always be that character you are in love with, and since her "character/lives" is limited, you can always fill-in-the-blanks with whatever you wish (the classic example is making the Waifu horny even when there no indication at all of that officially). The Waifu will never break this "phantasm" you have.
I will break this into two parts. First, isn't it something inheritably human to be afraid of change? A lot of people do not wish for change, and would like to maintain things the way they are at all costs. Which in turn risks to devolve into stagnation. Second, isn't the "fill-in-the-blanks with whatever you wish" one of the things that brought the Touhou community and fanon to life? people have always filled in the blanks with whatever they want/like about that character (which leads to what you mentioned later, in regards to Fusu for example).
Worse, some fans that have the same Waifu may reinforce that "phantasm" by making artwork of it (like those Fusu post, for example). This is why people like them, they are "concept" that are vaguely defined, and can be slightly-changed to match each of their taste.
Again, pretty much what I have mentioned earlier about the birth of the fandom. Which I do feel like it was influenced to some degree about the rise of the "waifu" phenomenon at the time. I would talk more about Fusu, but I think I have expressed more than enough about him in a lot of previous threads of mine.
It is much easier than having a real relationship where the person may betray your "idealize" version of them and I am no expert, but isn't this a necessary step toward a real healthy relationship? To accept the other, for both the goods and the bads? Isn't it a bit childish to consider only the good?
Some people will always look for the easy way to obtain gratification/satisfaction. "The low hanging fruit" basically. Since a waifu does not change (unless the author of the series where said waifu comes from decides to continue the series and keep evolving the character), they just become timeless. And that is just something people will find easy to stick to. But yeah, people have to accept those around them with their good and bad points, since nothing is perfect in real life.
I never had any Waifus, but I do have some fictional characters I like. Let's pick the Touhou project as a example, I quite like Satori in Touhou 11. I like the concept of someone able to read mind, and becoming a bit "jaded" (translation of tired + indifferent) because people are predictable and nothing can really surprise her (she also isn't shy to use her ability at all). In her boss theme, there's a hint of creepiness', which shows why people avoid her (and in the game, the theme picks up exactly where she becomes serious). In her stage theme, there's a hint of lonliness, which could both means she's lonely or simply that her Palace is lonely because there's no one there except her (and some animals).
Neither do I have anything that I would declare to be a "waifu", but just like you I do have characters that I like. I already explained a short version of what I like about Akyuu, so I will not go into further detail about that.
Now, how did the fandom turn her into a Waifu? By focusing only on her "lonely" side, and making up that she want someone to comfort her from that loneliness, completely disregarding the fact that 1) She isn't that lonely, she has pets that don't mind being around her 2) She ain't horny, way too "jaded" for that 3) They wouldn't last a day having their mind being read against their will (everyone has secrets).
Luckily, Akyuu has not really been turned into a waifu. She is still one of those side-characters some fans may not even know to exist. She did not escape the art of Fusu though (though I am not sure if he has any not-safe-for-work art of her outside one of the standard confessions). So I am not very sure if people focused on anything in order to turn her into a waifu, as she is a non-existent character for some. She is in the
"you read the manga, you nerd" category.
Now, I know this is all fictional, but if you reconstruct a character so that you'll love them, taking only the parts you want, ignoring what doesn't match your taste, making up what that character would tell you (as oppose to someone actually talking to you, possibly challenging you), can you truly say you love them? Aren't you just loving your own image of them? This is almost like saying "I like sushi, when it is covered in chocolate and there are no sushi in it"
I would like to talk a bit about this, but I think the following image conveys much better everything I would have said. You know,
"an image is worth a million words" or something like that...
"You don't want a girlfriend, you want a toy"
