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SoundOfRayne

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Everything posted by SoundOfRayne

  1. Actually, I had the same experience when I picked up Azure Reflections, the side-scrolling STG fangame. Cirno was the third playable character in it, and throughout my playthrough, I couldn't get my mind off of her very distinct voice. I knew I'd heard it from somewhere, but I put my finger on it. Then I made it to the credits and found out that she was voiced by Yuka Iguchi. For the record, if you haven't played Azure Reflections to hear it for yourself, I strongly encourage looking up a playthrough to hear her voice. It's fantastic casting, and I consider her voice to be the canon Cirno voice. Yuka's got a lot of VA roles under her belt, but I knew her specifically because she played my favorite character, Hinata Miyake, from my favorite anime, A Place Further than the Universe. After finding that, I also found out that she voiced Tewi in A Summer Day's Dream. Much less interesting, but it also showed me that Reimu there was played by Mai Nakahara, who plays Nagisa Furukawa in my second favorite anime, Clannad. So yeah. It was cool to see that everything related to Japan does eventually come around to Touhou if you look hard enough. Oh, and @CountVonNumenor, you probably noticed, but in Azure Reflections, Rina Satou does reprise her role as Reimu there too. It wasn't shown in the list you provided, but I figured you'd appreciate it.
  2. Well, this is it. Made to California mostly unscathed, and all that's left to do now is go to bed and wait for morning. Getting to sleep is gonna be the hard part. I can't wait for tomorrow to come! @PriestOfPain and any other Shrinies who just didn't post anything, I'm looking forward to getting together and meeting with other Touhou fans. Everything's looked promising. I'm hoping it'll all be worth it! As for everyone who couldn't make it, I hope you'll look forward to whenever I get around to making a thread about it and my experiences. I'll be sure to get lots of pictures to share. I don't think the US has had a dedicated large-scale Touhou convention since TouhouCon in 2015, so keep your fingers crossed it's a success so we can see more of them!
  3. Title pretty much says it all. TouhouFest begins tomorrow, and my flight is only a few hours away. Money's saved. Costume's ready. Luggage is not even close to packed. Fear of flying: not resolved. Let's do this. I'm looking forward to coming back to share photos and whatnot with the friends I've made here who I know aren't able to make it, but I'm curious if there're any other Shrinies here who'll also be attending.
  4. I dunno how confidently I can call this a "renaissance," since 2023 hasn't had nearly the amount of content that 2022 gave us. At least, not yet. I can at least say that 2022 was an awesome year to be a Touhou fan. So many new faces in the animation sphere that technically existed before 2022 really had their time to take off. I wanna think that MTB's reanimation of We Are Japanese Goblin in late 2021 played a big part in that. It'd been a while since Touhou had made any big waves outside of its own community, so I'd like to think the overwhelming amount of attention it brought to Touhou from all over the internet helped give these up and coming creators their audience. I'd say it's too soon to call it a renaissance, but it is still indicative of Touhou's longevity. All the creators we already love are still going strong, and new ones are starting to pop up. Touhou sure isn't going to be going anywhere anytime soon. And yes, as a certified Seki-stan, Akatsuki Records did a great job stroking my ego as all these people are coming out of the woodworks to find that I was right the whole time.
  5. I'm just gonna go ahead and shoot down this line of thinking immediately, and loudly for everyone in the back: Yes, you can be a Touhou fan and not play the games. Touhou Project is more than just a few space shooters. You've got fangames that cover pretty much every genre imaginable, tons of printworks (both official and doujin), full-blown anime made by some seriously dedicated fans, on top of the years and years worth of fan art and fan music. That is Touhou Project. Sorry if that's not exactly what your post was trying to ask about, but considering the fact that gatekeeping is a real thing, I don't want to leave any ambiguity on this. There is nothing wrong with deciding that the games aren't really your thing and just enjoying Touhou for the stuff you actually like. I wouldn't blame you in the slightest for not being "interested" in the shoot-em-up games. I also had a time when I was getting into Touhou, so I tried the official games, and I did have a good time with them. I had fun. A lot of fun, even. It was during a time when I specifically wanted to play something simple and arcade-y and I didn't mind that I was going through the same motions over and over again to try and get a little further than before. But, my tastes changed over time. I wanted to try something new, and moving from Touhou 7 to Touhou 8 isn't gonna give me that new experience I was craving. Now I only go back to them every now and then when I find myself in that certain "Touhou" kind of mood, and there's nothing wrong with that. So no, don't feel like playing the official games is some kind of necessity for keeping your membership card. If you feel like picking them back up, do it. And if you don't, then don't. The important thing is making sure you're enjoying yourself in whatever area of the fandom you're spending your time with.
  6. Reading this post and subsequently checking out a few of the Hungarian Folk Tales leaves me feeling pretty bittersweet. I always find hearing stories from people about the kinds of media they grew up with and were inspired by fascinating because, well, I don't have many memories from my childhood that I feel that kind of strong connection to. That's not to say I didn't watch any cartoons growing or didn't enjoy them- I certainly did- but I don't think I can speak about any of them with the same reverence that I hear about from YouTubers I enjoy watching about childhood media like Steve Reviews, Defunctland, or Jordan Fringe. And that's a shame, since it's only after growing up that I've started taking more interest in the passionate workings behind children's media. As for the Hungarian Folk Tales themselves, I watched about 5-6 of them at random from the channel list. They're insanely charming. Even though I know if animations like this aired on satellite or cable television in the States they'd be laughed off the air, there's just an awkward earnestness about these shorts that makes it easy to overlook the clearly limited production in their animation and voicework. A couple of things surprised me about them that set them apart from the kind of cartoons I grew up with. The first being a lack of adaptation. Most cartoons based on stories, folklore, nursery rhymes, or the like re-frame their narratives into (for the time) modern day settings. It's done to try and connect to viewers better, since as long as the tone and message of the narrative was maintained, the setting could be largely interchangeable. Not these shorts, though. These are about as direct an adaptation as I could imagine. Speaking of tones and messages though, can we just appreciate the casual cruelty these folk tales have? Call it a symptom of growing up under Disney-fication, but the cartoons I watched when I was young typically reserved mentions of violence and death for major narrative purposes; noble sacrifices from heroes or the defeat of a truly evil villain. And then I watch First the Dance, then the Feast, and after the kings are forcibly stripped of their authority, they're casually pushed into a giant pot of beans and drown in it, and the people keep eating from that same pot. It's so morbid, and the folktale just doesn't give it any weight at all. And it's not even the only one. The Miraculous Bird, the beloved family pet crow is just unceremoniously axed and cooked when a wanderer throws down some money for its meat. Brother Fox, the wolf character is beaten within an inch of his life by an angry mob and literally "barely survived." And the tale just goes on like, "Yep. Tuesdays sure do be like that, huh?" Honestly, I found it hilarious. I ended up really enjoying watching these, and I'll probably come back to check out a few more as I get time for it. As for my favorite I've seen, I'll give it to The Diligent Girl and the Lazy Girl. Straightforward as it is, I like stories that clearly want to pass good values to their viewers, and the message of "treat others well, and you'll be treated well in kind" is a pretty universal one I can get behind. It might not be the most entertaining, but I genuinely liked it.
  7. I'll be honest: Hearing someone passionately celebrate Valentine's Day is a little... unsettling? Like, here in America, Valentine's Day really does just amount to either "buy a gift for your significant other" Day or "enjoy acknowledging the fact that you're single" Day. In either case, any historical or moral significance this holiday should've had has long been forgotten by the general public. It's a strange feeling, but it is nice to know that the holiday is appreciated and appreciated well by a few people out there, even if I'm not one of them. Not that knowing any better really changes how I actually go about my day. My day has been spent doing as I would any other day; cooking, going to work, doing my assignments, MAKING MY GLORIOUS RETURN TO THE FORUMS, but with the added benefit that some people may end their brief conversations with me with a "Happy Valentine's Day." But only some.
  8. I've been keeping quiet on this topic for a while, mainly because I could never quite get my thoughts in order on it. Hell, I'm not even convinced I have them in order now. The main issue I have with trying to answer this kind of question is: "Yeah, obviously there are people exhibit bad behavior who are also big fans of anime, but how much of that bad behavior is anime's 'fault?' And if it's not anime's fault, than whose is it? The viewer? The community? Something else entirely? Or all of the above?" I wish I had a conclusion for that, but I don't, so in no particular order, here are my thoughts relevant to the thread. So, I think we can all agree that imitating media is generally not a smart idea. Media is filtered and polished and crafted to form and support a narrative, and reality just isn't like that. That's not to say that media doesn't portray reality, but it's never a perfect reflection and it never will be. And as such, mimicking any piece of media and expecting the results to turn up like that media had is astronomically stupid. And the thing is, this isn't exclusive to anime. One of my favorite examples of my friend-and-flatmate being just the dumbest thing alive happened a couple of years back. I wasn't present for this, so I have to go off of recounting. He was in a group call with a bunch of friends, and as a gesture of camaraderie, he told one of his lady-friends in the group that "she's his bitch." He was absolutely dumbfounded why the entire group call turned on him and collectively agreed that that wasn't cool. And when I asked him what could possibly convince him to say something so fantastically stupid, the answer exceeded even my expectations. See, in chick-flick films, it's not uncommon to have a group of women get together and call each other "bitchezzz" in their stereotypical valley-girl accent as light jabs to affirm their tight friendship, and he believed he could do the same and expected to receive a glorious Yas Queen! reception, completely oblivious of just how different the two scenarios are. My brain couldn't fathom the thought process needed to get to that point. Sure, the incident didn't leave a negative impact on their friendship. She understood that he didn't mean any offense by it, but still had to dress him down and tell him he can't just do that. It highlights my point: dude watches movies, thinks that what he watches indicates how he can behave, and reality steps in and says "No, it doesn't go down like that." One of the things about anime that really sucks is how people perceive it. Specifically, this really dumb narrative that anime is this "more mature" alternative to watching cartoons. And on a surface level, there's some truth to that. Anime is no stranger to showing gratuitous amounts of violent and sexual material that would never get greenlit for production here in the States. Most anime, just by nature of what they decide to put onscreen, would heavily straddle the line between PG-13 and R ratings. But all of that violence and blood and sex don't actually make anime a more mature story; it has basically no impact on how the story or characters are written. Most anime are pretty simple stories once you've broken them down; they just have a lot of flair given to them that you don't see as much of in other animation. Some people look up to anime for being more "mature" when it really isn't. This one's personal, but I absolutely h a t e how much anime treats its own viewers like complete losers. Seriously, how did get to a point in society where everyone can collectively pan HBO's Velma for cynically insulting its own audience, but anime can frequently write the most unpleasant, grotesque depictions of anime fans and their culture and people are like "omg it me frfr"? And this goes both ways. Anime fans should not be celebrating being depicted as human waste. Not only is it not a good look for them to people outside of anime, but I'd wager it paints a picture for those anime fans on what being an anime fan should be like, and that's awful. The Isekai genre is particularly nasty about this, as its very premise tells the audience, "Hey, see this absolute fuckin' waste of life who does nothing but play video games, watch anime, and buy merchandise that definitely isn't you? Wouldn't it be cool if, instead of expanding and improving their current life, they were instead given a new one where their decisions or lack thereof actually put them at the top of the food chain?" One of my favorite manga and anime, Wotakoi: Love is Hard for Otaku completely does away with this and has all of its main characters be stable, working adults leading fulfilling, albeit eccentric, lives. It was genuinely moving to have an anime tell me that I can still enjoy the things I love and be passionate about them, and also be a functioning adult. And it still gets to be funny and poke fun at the less appealing aspects of otaku culture without coming across as completely dismissing it. This one's a personal pet theory of mine, but I'm convinced that "anime" and "the internet" are a match made in hell. Anime is centered heavily around melodrama; emotions are presented at fever-pitch to really hit viewers with raw feelings right where it hurts. And I love it for it. It's fun to watch. But if anyone's every actually talked to someone who tries to get melodramatic like an anime would, you know they're some of the most insufferable people to ever exist. And where can you go to find people who get tons of attention and clout for being loud, hyperreactive, and overly emotional? Yeah. I wanna be harder on the kids and teens who treat anime like it's some perfect representation of Japan for being stupid, because it is genuinely stupid to think any piece of media is wholely representative of where it came from. But it's hard to really be upset about it from the outside because that kind of half-heartedness is pretty universal. The Dunning-Kruger Effect wouldn't be a thing if there was only one notable example of it. I get it. You watch anime, and you pick up little bits and pieces of info about Japanese culture and language from it, and you start thinking you're some sort of expert because you technically know more than nothing. It's obnoxious to be sure, but that's nothing unique to anime, and anyone with half a functioning brain and/or access to Google can very quickly dismantle any drivel they decide to pass off as fact. I do wanna close out my thoughts on a hopeful note, though. See, anime's gotten exponentially more popular and widespread through the last decade or so. It may be bold to say so, but I think that if it hasn't already become so, anime is only a few degrees off from being mainstream. And anime fans will likely disagree with that sentiment, since otaku and weebs have gotten pretty comfortable with this stigma that they're perpetually ostracized, but we're getting close to the point where saying you watch anime will be as innocuous as saying you go out to the movies. More importantly, adults who watch anime will be having children who watch anime. Anime will stop being this weird generational gap where fans insist that all these old people just don't understand, because they will. And parents will actually be in a good position to talk to their kids about anime, and their respective good and bad takeaways. Hopefully a lot of that bad behavior we see from anime fans will die down as everyone collectively gets more informed about it. Maybe that's being too optimistic, but I'd like to imagine a coming generation where anime is as normalized a hobby as, say, being a comic book fan post-Marvel's MCU.
  9. Things here have certainly been in a lull recently, at least compared to the end of last year. I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm a full-time worker and a full-time student, so when classes opened up in January, the amount of time I've had to put into the forum plummeted. I know a lot of other members here are students as well, so I can imagine that they're having scheduling troubles as well. It doesn't help that forums encourage long, thought-out discussions over the brief, snappy postings you'd find on, say, the Discord server. At least for me, posting here is a pretty substantial time investment. As for a question: What made you want to join the Shrine?
  10. The games themselves weren't updated, but the download link for them had to be changed. March 2022 was when MoriyaShrine was hit by a DMCA complaint from ZUN's lawyer. The previous download links had to be taken down, and were eventually replaced. Details on the incident and how it went down can be found in this thread:
  11. Isn't that fixers are supporting the right for women to look pretty in a different way or... I don't get it if you don't mind explaining to me your point I think I know what they're getting at. Yes, people want to support the right for women to look beautiful in different, more progressive ways. To illustrate my point, I'm gonna put this in the context of body positivity; y'know, "Big people are beautiful too." That kind of thing. So, the idea behind body positivity is a very well-meaning gesture: People shouldn't feel like they are excluded from being attractive if they don't conform to a traditional image of beauty; in this case, being thin. Body positivity is all about making the discussion and expression of beauty more inclusive. But, for a small but loud minority of people, that's not what this movement means to them. It's not about progressive and traditional ideas of beauty coexisting and intermixing with each other; it's about progressive ideas replacing traditional ones. "Out with the old. In with the new." Big isn't just beautiful. Big is in, and by extension, thin is out. It's a clear corruption of what the original message was supposed to be, but if you think on it, you can kinda see how someone who approaches this topic with a lot of hostility would come to that conclusion. That's what SasaMisa's trying to describe. Whatever kind of "female form" they're trying to describe is super vague. It could be anything: body positivity, gender neutrality, natural beauty vs. beauty products, who knows? But the idea is still there: They found someone or some group of people trying to push for some progressive vision by outright rejecting and discrediting whatever kind of "female form" they happen to like. But just like SasaMisa says, if woman have the right to choose a progressive type of beauty, they have to retain the right to choose traditional beauty too. Otherwise, it stops being a choice. Actually, now that I think about it, I wonder just how many other heated debates get to be where they are because of this "corruption of ideals." Inclusivity should be strove for, but if the way to way to make it happen is to just boot out what once was because "Mom says it's my turn to define beauty," then of course there'll never be a healthy way to resolve it.
  12. Funny, I have the same reaction to Imperishable Night, even though I only picked that one up a few months back. At least I can beat PCB, though... I love how, with just one look at this, I immediately knew Dark Fox (aka Jinx Izayoi) was gonna be a part of this. I also found a fair number of fancomics through fandubs like this one. It's gotten to the point where I'm just 100% willing to accept a headcanon where all Touhou characters have male voices, except Rinnosuke, and Patchouli is Solid Snake. Yeah, I saw that thread and looked a little into that. It's a real shame that she just up and left like that; her art was really nice. If I felt I had something more meaningful to say than "That sucks," I woulda commented on it. I just hope she's alright. Last time I read up on a story about an artist vanishing after being publicly lambasted, it was because she attempted suicide. Not matter which side you're on in whether it's a good thing for artists to take liberties in redesigning established characters, no one deserves that. SHOW ME WHAT PASSES FOR [culture] AMONG YOUR MISBEGOTTEN KIND ...was the first thing I thought of when I looked their work up. Gott damn, man, no subtlety with your preferences, huh? I like it, though. I like seeing a little more mature take on a lot of these characters. Good middle ground between being overly-cute and overly-sexy. Also, this Banki. I like this Banki. ...Y'know, in retrospect, I don't know what I else I could've expected to happen when I looked Innocent Key up. I could've stopped at the Sakuya one. Sure, I didn't like it, but... "Ehh, this sure does look like something from 13 years ago, huh?" So what do I do? I keep digging. It's not good, but it could always be worse. And then I find Holy Water Festival... It got worse. Now I'm here, bitter and angry at the world. Just... Fuck.
  13. Happy New Year! Hope it's been good for you so far! So, over the last year, you've talked a lot about pieces of Touhou media you've gotten into. Some you've made posts about, and some not. (Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on Hifuu Club Activity Record, by the way.) Anyways, what I wanted to ask is "If you had to choose a favorite piece of Touhou media, official or unofficial, what would it be?" Artwork, music, video, animation, game; the sky's the limit. Just something that you'll always hold near and dear to your heart from Touhou Project. And, if you're feeling spicy for it, how about the flip-side: "What piece of Touhou media do you loathe the most?" It's not enough to simply not be memorable, no; something that left a permanent scar on your soul and you hate acknowledging its existence. And, uhhh... Even though it goes against the original purpose of the thread, if you have any questions for us too, feel free to ask back. I definitely won't be making an AMA of my own, and I'd take any incentive to overcome my "one-post-per-thread" habit I'm trying to break this year.
  14. Wouldn't you know it, not even a day later, and the album gets posted to the site to download. If you still want to support them financially, I'd still recommend purchasing the album. I haven't seen anything about a Patreon for them. But there's no telling when or if that digital release is going to happen, so consider this an option if you want to be able to access the album until then.
  15. After a bit of searching, I wasn't able to find any site where you could buy the album digitally, but I did find some tweets from one of the members. It's all in Japanese, so I needed to send through Google translate, but it was saying that they're "considering a digital release" and they'll let people know when anything comes of it. These tweets are only a few days old, so I'd recommend keeping a close watch on it. Here's the Twitter for the member in question: https://twitter.com/kyuhojimae
  16. I'd never heard of him before, but I'm a total bitch when it comes to horror, so I wanted to just pass this post by. Then I go see his pixiv work, and it's... something. That's for sure. I'm not super terrified of still pictures or .gifs without sound, but it sure was unsettling. I'll be honest, I don't really know if I liked it or not. But he is a Wakasagi fan, so big respects there. I also liked that his creepy posts are tagged with #please_don't_jack_off_to_this. As if that ever stopped anyone. But I decided that I was brave enough, so I went to his channel and watched "Koishi." I wish I didn't watch "Koishi."
  17. I've got a few things I'm looking forward to this year. Firstly, there's school. 2022 was a big year for since I returned to school for the first time in 8 years after dropping out. I was so nervous about going back; bogged down with thoughts of "It's too late to get an education" and "I'm not good enough to handle school." But I made it through that first year not just unscathed, but thriving. It was a great year and really boosted my confidence. And now, it's time to see it through. On the Touhou side of things, I'm really looking forward to TouhouFest this spring! I've been to a handful of conventions over the last few years, but never one centered on any one property. But I knew as soon as I heard about it that I wanted to be a part of this. I've already bought my ticket and saved up plenty of money this year. I'm ready to go all out! I'm even getting a costume prepared to cosplay for the first time! I should probably get around to finishing that... And, uhh... embarrassing as it is to out and say, my goal for this year that I want to keep closest is to try and be more sociable. In general, of course, but mainly here in the forums and maybe the discord server. Y'know, I like to think of myself as an active user here at the shrine. I visit the site several times a week, and I try to keep up with all of the threads that catch my interest. But, looking back on things, I don't put in nearly as much as I get out. Not for a lack of effort, mind. When I do post, it's been through hours of deep thought and a little research. Sometimes, an entire afternoon will be burned away, thinking up the perfect post that'll satisfy me, and I haven't even touched the keyboard. Sometimes I never do. It's one of those things I really want to change about myself. I genuinely love it here in the forums; I love Touhou, and I want to be a fan here, and I want to reach out and make friends with people, but it requires working past myself and that's not always an easy thing to do. This year, I'm going to put in the effort to change that. That's all I can think of for now, but I'm sure there'll be more to come. 2022 was a big year for me as fan and a person, and I'm going into 2023 very uncharacteristically optimistic. I know this year'll be good to me. I hope it'll be just as good for everyone else here too.
  18. I'm glad I decided to sleep before coming back to finish this post. I seem to always have a better perspective on things after waking up. I was gonna come in with a spiel about how "there's no definition for what makes someone a fan" and how "only you can define whether you consider yourself a fan or not." But, that one never really felt complete. Something felt off. "There's no such thing as a bad fan"? Of course there are. I just talked about how awful these people are who gatekeep others from the fandom. How I could I in good conscience make the claim that no one can be a bad fan when I clearly admonish that kind of behavior? I didn't agree with this. I liked the sentiment, but just as you said, it felt incomplete. But you got me questioning; thinking about what was missing from it. I've enjoyed things that I never considered myself a fan of. Hell, even within Touhou, I had been engorged with content for well over a month before I could consider myself a fan. Tons of games and fangames, animations, music, art; I saw so much, and I loved all of (most of) it, but I never really wanted to tell people I was a fan. And then FDF II happened, and before you say anything, I know. "Mom!!! SoundOfRayne's jerking off FDF II again!!!" Okay, I get it. FDF II is special to me and I won't shut up about it. But that's just it. It's special to me, and I wanted to share that with other people. Up until that point, enjoying Touhou was for me and me alone. No girls allowed! But, this one was different. Not because I liked it the best, but because for the first time, I wanted to share how I felt about it with other people. And that's the conclusion I've reached. "What makes someone a [Touhou] fan?" When your enjoyment of something extends beyond yourself, that's when you're a fan. Is that answer broad as all hell? Oh, you bet it is! "How far beyond yourself do you have to get to be a 'real' fan?" Doesn't matter! Do you like playing the games and competing for score? You're a fan. Do you like looking up cool artwork of cute girls? You're a fan. Do you like scrolling through comment sections or forums to hear what other people have to say about "whatever Touhou?" You're a fan. Hell, do you just like sending memes about the plushie of a stupid ice fairy? You're still a fan even if I don't wanna admit it. Is it all positive? Of course not. We've had plenty of discussions here that were plenty critical of things inside and outside of the fandom. Being a fan of something doesn't mean you have to love everything about it. Making people feel welcome to talk about not just what they like, but what they don't, is the mark of a healthy community. And then we wrap it back around to the gatekeepers: a genuine, bona fide bad fan. Gatekeepers don't wanna share things. They want to cut the conversations off; keep the riff-raff out; keep things from changing so that the fandom stays centered around them and what they like. The worst part is that the things that they like are still in the fandom. Older games still have their dedicated fans. People still "play for score." Canon is still being explored and discussed. It's just not the only thing. Arguably, it never was. But rather than try and connect with their kindred spirits, they just try and force everyone else out. To what end? To make it easier to find people who think like they do? I don't have the answer to that. And, @CountVonNumenor, I need to correct something from my previous post. I said before that you weren't a bad Touhou fan, and that was seriously understating things. Over the last year, you've brought a lot of people together on the forums. You've brought debates and critiques and passions out of people. I've tried to enjoy the Shrine's Discord, but I doubt I'll ever be able to feel comfortable in it. These forums feel like a home to me to be able to express myself on my own terms. I wouldn't be surprised if others felt the same way. And even now, we've got someone new to jump in for something that you started. (Welcome to the Shrine @EerieCrypts, by the way.) Dude, if that's not evidence of a good Touhou fan, I don't know what is. I don't really like being sappy about it, but it feels fitting to close out the year. Don't let other people's arbitrary standards get you down. You're absolutely appreciated here.
  19. Never a simple post with you, huh Count? Just as I'm trying to write up a response to the Memories of Phantasm post, I get the notification for this. Well, this topic's a little more important. So, I've read through it all pretty quickly, and I've got some pretty strong feelings on the matter. So, just to get the first question out of the way, "Am I a bad Touhou fan?" Short answer: No. Long answer: Fuck no. There is no debate on this. There is no justifiable, well-intentioned way to make a case that there are "better" or "worse" ways to be a fan. And this doesn't just apply to Touhou. It applies to everything. Gatekeeping is inexcusable in my book. It always has been, and it's always going to be. I think that the basis behind this problem, and why some act the way they do about other people joining in their fandoms, is a psychological concept known as "the Other." As per the webpage: "The Other is an individual who is perceived by the group as not belonging, as being different in some fundamental way. Any stranger becomes the Other. The group sees itself as the norm and judges those who do not meet that norm (that is, who are different in any way) as the Other. Perceived as lacking essential characteristics possessed by the group, the Other is almost always seen as a lesser or inferior being and is treated accordingly. The Other in a society may have few or no legal rights, may be characterized as less intelligent or as immoral, and may even be regarded as sub-human." I wasn't sure whether I should bring this one up. The Other is a concept most often used alongside some pretty heavy topics like, for example: differences in race and ethnicity, social class, religion, and political stances. Pretty heavy stuff with a lot of severe implications behind them. And I would be a damned idiot if I tried to make the case that gatekeeping in a fandom is equivalent to being a racist and a bigot. But... I can't deny that when I see stuff like you put in your post, Count, this was the first thing that came to mind. I think on a fundamental level, this is the reason why gatekeeping happens. People like feeling like they're part of something special; that they found this hidden gem, and they get to place themselves in an "us" against "them" scenario because they understand something that others around them don't. It massages their ego to feel like they're part of this "special elite," even though it would make more sense to want more people involved, so that they would have more opportunities to share their passions with others. But people don't want that. If their fandom gets popular, they're not the "special ones" anymore; just another face in the crowd. So to stave it off, they, the "us," have to do something to set themselves apart from the "them." "They" aren't "us" and they can't be "us," because if "they" can be "us," then there's no point in being "us." The Touhou fandom is... weird. Weird in the sense that it is simultaneously an absolute powerhousing giant of a fandom, yet relatively obscure. It's big enough that a lot of people (I'd argue most people) find out about it through means other than its official material. At the same time, getting invested in it takes work. Say you wanna play the games. Sure, the later entries are available on Steam, but they're costly, and aren't officially patched for any language other than Japanese. Better google up a patch. Oh, and I hope you actually like and are decent at shoot-em-ups. You're not getting much story if you can't beat the game. Wanna read the manga? Hope you already know who these characters are; they're not gonna be introduced. Oh yeah, and these also aren't made available in your language. Please, I just want my WaHH... Is that too much to ask? OG Touhou fans outside of Japan had to work their asses off to get into this fandom. It's not hard to imagine them getting an ego when new people join in because Touhou is now infinitely more accessible than it was in their time. Now we get "fake fans." They didn't put in the same amount of time and work and dedication that we did, and yet they get to keep the same title of "fan?" And now even inside the fandom, it's still "us" vs "them." Okay, that's enough on the nature of gatekeeping. Worrying about whether you fit someone else's definition of a "fan" isn't just a fruitless endeavor; it's a harmful one. If you let someone assume the role of an authority on what constitutes a fan, not only are you putting your own enjoyment of Touhou at risk, but also reinforcing their stance that their are "better" and "worse" fans for other newcomers. That's why gatekeeping needs to be nipped in the bud and never be tolerated. I'm not totally happy with my post. I still have the second question to answer about "What makes someone a Touhou fan?" But, I'm out of time for today, and I really don't want to wait a whole 'nother day to get my thoughts out. I'll definitely be coming back to this thread to close things up.
  20. Y'know, I'm torn between 2 very strong emotions reading this: a seething anger and an immeasurable amount of pity. I really wanna just clown on this guy; just go to town on him for all the awful, awful things he decides to put in his little manifesto. But, you don't write a 4-page thesis because Touhou is just "whatever" to you. It's abundantly clear that this guy is passionate about Touhou, probably to an unhealthy extent. And Touhou is changing. It's easier to get into than it ever has been, and people are flooding in from new channels. The way Touhou "used to be" isn't "what it is" anymore, and that means some people are just gonna be left behind. It's a shitty feeling. I've had things that used to be a big fan of, and then when things started changing with sequels or expansions or the like, I didn't like what they became and just had to hang up my jacket and leave. Change can bring in new people, sure, but it also comes at the risk of alienating the people who were already there. I get that, and part of me wants to sympathize with the poster on this. And hey, I watched that same video from TheOVJM when you posted about it. It's been a long time since then, but I remember being largely on board with the things he was saying. And I see some of those points being brought up here, granted without any degree of self-restraint. I have to take them at their word when critiquing the games; they just aren't going to be for me. I don't have the time to try out every game in the series to compare how they stack up to each other, and even if I did, I wouldn't want to. But, message received. Older fans of Touhou are feeling alienated by the direction that Touhou has been moving in recently. However, the poster isn't here lamenting that the new climate doesn't have a place for him; he's out here taking shots at anything and everything he can find. Sure, I don't like the gacha games either, and I hate that they literally print money for exploitative companies despite being called out so frequently. But saying that casual players aren't welcome and that it's wrong to consider them when making games is inexcusable. And of course, he starts gatekeeping and declaring who is and isn't a "real fan." Any pity I wanna feel for his situation goes right out the window as soon as that shit starts up. Anyone in defense of labeling people as "secondaries," kindly and respectfully go fuck yourself. Fans are fans, no matter which parts of the fandom they decide to make their home. Also, he trash-talked FDF II, so he's actually a monster. He deserves no mercy.
  21. Holy shit @CountVonNumenor, you really like putting us through the wringer on these posts, huh? Not just satisfied having us go through your episode-by-episode reactions, but MegaFrog's hour-long video AND a compilation of comments too? Absolute sadist. I'm kidding. I love that any thread you start up is gonna get my brain-gears turning. Though I'm not as happy to say that thanks to MegaFrog's due diligence, there isn't much of anything I can think of to research for this thread. But getting to revisit my time with MoP again leaves me with a lot of questions and thoughts on it, and I feel like sharing them. Girls are now calculating... So, trying to put a pin in my feelings for Memories of Phantasm turned out to be really difficult because I don't really have strong feelings for it. My feelings are largely similar to the kind of reception MegaFrog covered in his video: I remember the show pretty fondly, I can recall a good number of moments that I enjoyed, and some I enjoyed a lot, but when I try to think about the kind of impact it left on me, I can't really muster up anything more than "It's the Touhou anime," and end up defaulting to a lot of the criticisms for stuff about it that I didn't like. Which is a shame. No other singular project in the Touhou fandom that I've seen reaches the kind of scale MoP does, and despite it being so full of stuff that I really liked, my feelings about it overall are just lukewarm... One of the pieces of MegaFrog's video that stuck out to me was his opening argument over authorial intent and the claim that MoP was never made to be an adaptation of Touhou Project. Maybe it was recency bias, the well-formed argument MegaFrog made around this, or that smooth voice of his, but I ended up following along with it throughout the entirety of his video, but when I spent literal hours yesterday trying to write out a response to this thread, I ended up feeling frustrated because despite agreeing with his position at the time, most of my stances and feelings on MoP contradicted it. I decided to sleep on the matter. When I woke up, I realized that there were a few points MegaFrog made that I don't actually agree with; this being one of them. MoP adds very little "new" to the stories of the games. Sure, it takes creative liberties with the way characters are portrayed and how the events are structured, but that was going to happen anyways. All adaptations take creative liberties. Claiming that MoP isn't one just highlights how little deviation there is from the events it's recreating, and how reductive the deviations it does take are. People mistaking MoP as a failed adaptation of Touhou's canon isn't the result of fans misunderstanding the project; it's the result of MoP failing to forge it's own unique identity separate from the source material. Alright, let's talk about the tiddies because ho' boy, there are sure a lot of them in MoP. Look, I watched MegaFrog's entire video. I see the image. The fanservicing was done because the creators wanted it; not necessarily to make the show more marketable. I get it. But on the other hand, what does it matter why the fanservice was put in? When I hear people complain that the fanservice is excessive, they don't care about whether it was an executive decision for money or the passion work of a particularly horny animator; they care that it's detracting from a story that's already cutting out characters and potential content to make a tight run time and negatively impacts their ability to enjoy the show. "Why" is completely irrelevant in this. It's not people are gonna say "Well, I used to hate Chen's ass, but now that I know the artist is into it, I guess it is pretty cool." And since I guess this has become the "This is the part where SoundOfRayne disagrees with MegaFrog's analysis of MoP's criticisms" part of the post, I may as well comment on the final thing I don't agree with him on: the closing image of the three ways in which MoP is misinterpreted by the creators, its critics, and its fans. Mind, not because of what's actually put on-screen. I do believe that different people have different conclusions on what Memories of Phantasm is trying to be. No, what I disagree with is the implication that MoP's mixed reception comes from a shared responsibility (or lack thereof) from all three parties to properly identify and understand the show. I do not agree with this implication in the slightest. As GensouChronicle put it, "I blame the people in charge of the project." As a creator, it is your responsibility to properly establish what your work is and what it's about. If people are misunderstanding MoP, that's its creators' fault, not theirs. Okay, now that I've covered the Frog in the room, I guess I talk about my specific feelings on Memories of Phantasm now. I do wanna start with positives since, as I said before, MoP does so many things well, and those positives often get overshadowed by its criticisms. I don't think this needs much elaboration, but damn, MoP looks so darn pretty. All of the art is crisp and clean, and pretty much any frame of the show could be a valid wallpaper choice. Personally, I'm a bigger fan of good smear-framing to sell that extra bit of oomph to movements, but I'd be stupid not to recognize the talent that went into MoP's visual production. Even as the show carried on and the team downsized, the art for the show continues to look polished and professional. One of the things that MoP does that most other non-game fanworks don't is portraying actual danmaku battles. Danmaku are such visual clutter; it works well in the context of the games, but for things like doujin manga or animations, it distracts viewers from what the artist wants them to focus on. So, most examples of battles in fanworks tend to be simpler; more direct attacks with basic patterns to give fights a better sense of direction and flow. But MoP opts to animate danmaku in all of their glory, giving us gorgeous scenes of colorful bullet patterns, and they're just as captivating and terrifying as they are in the games. Admittedly, though, this does come with the downside of being less visually impressive once things zoom in and we watch the characters just... not get hit by anything. I'm convinced that Touhou bosses all just have Stormtrooper aim, but also have like 1000 blasters to even it out. Something's bound to hit, right? This one might be a bit contentious depending on which character you happen to be a fan of, but on the whole, I do like the way most of the characters are written. Cirno is the favorite in my book. She's not too stupid, but she's also clearly not all there. She's arrogant and scrappy, but also gets her moments to be sweet for Daiyousei. MegaFrog was spot on. I never really considered having a favorite episode for the show, but if I had to choose, I would give it to The Mysterious Giant Youkai. I kinda forgot how favorably I remembered that episode until I heard MegaFrog talking about it. Also, can we talk about Nitori being an adorkable little butterbean? She just wants to play with her science toys, and Marisa joins in as her hypeman just because it "sounds like it'd be cool." Sure, Nitori getting flirty with her wasn't really my thing, but everything else was so cute and wholesome and I loved it. I wish the actual MoF story wasn't going on and I coulda just gotten an episode of them just playing around, being doofuses. Okay, so Meiling got absolutely shafted in the EoSD arc. Everyone agrees on this. But like, Meiling being Flandre's mom in pretty much every other scene they're in is the most precious and wholesome thing ever, and no one talks about it. It's all just "haha, lazy gatekeeper gets her ass handed to her." Meiling fans, just... take the L on that fight, okay? You're still eating pretty good. Alright, I know this one is hated by a lot of people, but... I actually really like Eiki in MoP. Not necessarily because I like her flanderized personality (smol, judgemental, obnoxiously self-righteous, talks shit about everyone to their face literally the whole night) but because despite being shown as annoying and non-threatening, she strikes the most visceral fear into the hearts of everyone the moment she's mentioned. I find the idea that listening to her lectures is more terrifying that the literal death-matches these characters have with each other absolutely hilarious, canon be damned. Sure, MoP doesn't bat 1000. There are definitely characters who got the short end of the stick when it came to representation. If you're a fan of any character who shows up before stage 4, you just get to eat whole shit. Except Alice. Alice fans get to eat good. ...Fuck you, Alice fans... I would say that the big main issue I take with MoP is, as MegaFrog elaborated on, its lack of identity. MoP does do something very fascinating, though. I would say it's a perfect reflection of the inconsistency within the Touhou fandom. MoP wants to be a high-intensity action show that replicates the spectacle of danmaku battles from the games, but it also wants to be a cute, silly little slice-of-life-y show that focuses on these adorable little beans we call characters, but it also also wants to coat the whole thing in raw sex appeal because the fandom sure does like their yuri-bait and tiddies, huh? It's like it's trying to be everyone's Touhou and, well... In all fairness, it did bring everyone together to collectively say, "Not my Touhou." That's really what it boils down to. It's trying to be for everyone; to encompass as much about Touhou's canon and fandom as possible to give everyone something. And as the old saying goes, if you try to please everyone, you'll end up pleasing no one. That's why I think that MoP is so heavily panned compared to its contemporaries. A Summer's Day Dream and Hifuu Club Activity Record knew exactly what they wanted to be; what story they wanted to tell, how they wanted to tell it, and who they wanted to tell it for. So people who watched them can know exactly why they like them, or maybe don't like them. They can judge them fairly because they understand what they're watching. MoP didn't have this. Even though it was incredibly popular, not many people seem to consider themselves fans of it, and I totally get that. And that's where I find myself with Memories of Phantasm. There are all these moments which captured my heart, but that's all they were; moments. It's like taking a bunch of really tasty ingredients and putting them in a pot to cook, except the pot is rusted and hadn't been cleaned in a while, the heat isn't at the right setting, and oh yeah, you don't know how to cook. Those ingredients- those moments- might be good on their own; maybe even the best. But unless they can be properly tied together, your soup is gonna end up nasty. MoP is so odd to talk about because it's a whole that's somehow less than the sum of its parts. It's easy to punch down to because people from all stages in the Touhou fandom can find the cracks in it pretty easily. But it's hard to hate. Despite how much flak it gets for the sloppy execution, people still see Memories of Phantasm for what it truly is: A labor of love at an unprecedented level. Seriously, how many other fandoms can get a whole, independently funded, professionally animated series? Touhou fans really are an entirely different breed. I think that's why people give all this conflicting reception to it. It's a genuinely special endeavor for the Touhou fandom, and that kind of passion shouldn't go unappreciated. But, uhh... It was kinda hard watching the end of MegaFrog's video, hearing about just how bad MoP's finances are. It's heartbreaking knowing that this massive passion project, given to one of the most ravenous fanbases around, isn't making back any of its money. Like, this is the same fandom that will shell out hundreds of dollars for a fucking felt plushie based off an ages-old fan manga (Seriously, fuck Fumos), but this is where they draw the line? I'm genuinely shocked. I hope for the sake of the people who really believe in Memories of Phantasm that no one ends up breaking themselves over it.
  22. Like a lot of other stuff that comes from the fandom, it depends. The way I see it, OCs can be lumped into two camps: characters made to expand the universe, or characters made to fill in the universe. I don't think either is objectively better or worse than the other, but considering Touhou has such a huge roster of characters already, I'd say the latter is definitely fighting an uphill battle. Even though I'm pretty sure the point of this thread was to be mostly negative to the intrusive, uninspired OCs disrupting Touhou's canon, I do think there are some examples of incredibly effective OCs from both camps. Among the many, many, many praises I can give to Osana Reimu and Reireimu, I have to give special props to the fact that Joyfull created a brand new character from scratch, and it fit in so nicely into the Touhou universe that no one really questions it at all. Reimu's mother and previous Hakurei shrine maiden, known in the fandom as Sendai Hakurei, is an OC. Yeah, she's completely original to this work and is never referenced in canon, but anyone who's seen these two works would likely agree that they ought be canon; they were just that effective at doing what they do. Sendai is just as beloved a character as anyone else in the cast despite not being "real." I had some internal debate over whether big-Rumia counted as an OC as well since, barring her name and design, she shares pretty much nothing in common with the canon Rumia. And just like Sendai, anyone aware of this incarnation of Rumia doesn't want to live in a world where this story never happened. Despite the stigma placed on Original the Character, if the story they're a part of of is interesting enough, people aren't going to care about technicalities. Fan-games offer up a chance to see new interpretations of Touhou, both in mechanics and storytelling. This includes making completely new characters with abilities and motifs that we haven't seen yet in official games. But these are really hit-or-miss, and I wanna bring up some of the misses first. The fantastic Danmaku Festival duology remake EoSD and PCB and replaces the first stage bosses Rumia and Letty with new characters, Nix and Hyp. Nix replaces Rumia's ability to manipulate darkness with the ability to... summon... darkness... Hmm. Oh! But she also has some star projectiles. Yeah, that totally warrants her inclusion! Hyp is technically better, but only because no one gives a shit about Letty anyways. He's designed with a sleep motif, and attacks with feathers from his owl wings and big ol' fluffy sheep bullets. But honestly, the only thing about him that's genuinely memorable is the fact that he's a male yokai. He sleep. I sleep. But then we have Elegant Impermanence of Sakura and Blue Devil in the Belvedere. EIoS has a pretty weak roster of characters if you ask me. Emitsu's design is too simple, Inori is just blue Reimu, and Shizuka, while looking pretty, is visually cluttered and doesn't leave a lasting impression. As I heard from one of my friends, she looks like a gacha-game pull. But one character does hit that sweet spot: the stage 4 boss, Hisoka Uroki. She's based off of a Shinkirō, a mythical clam whose breath creates illusions, and most people would agree that her boss theme is the best in the game. It's not the highest bar to clear, but she is sincerely memorable in a game where most other characters lack a real impact. While I went into BDitB totally expecting to clown on "Blue Remilia" Sonia von Auersperg- and believe me, she deserves it- but I was surprised how much of an impression BDitB left on me thanks to its story being tied to one of Touhou's oddest loose threads: In a world so tightly centered around Eastern mythology and folklore, what the hell is a Western-style mansion doing here? Not many people consider it since EoSD's cast is the most recognizable of Touhou's characters, but they're seriously out of place compared to the rest of Gensokyo. As BDitB puts it, the Scarlet Devil Manor was originally from a westernized parallel to Gensokyo, Abendrot, and moved to Gensokyo to escape from a power struggle between the Scarlet family and the von Auersperg family. That sounds... kinda interesting actually. The SDM is kind of an enigma in Touhou's lore, and giving the characters a whole new layer of history with friendships, alliances, and enemies is pretty neat, actually. It's a shame we don't get a whole lot from it, since the nature of shoot-em-ups doesn't lend well to creating a deep, fleshed out narrative. But it does leave some questions in people's minds, and that intrigue is worth a lot. And we can cap it off with a cheap shot at some low-hanging fruit. Touhou Lost Word's main character is an embarrassment, and everyone already knows exactly why that is. It commits every sin that's been used against OCs, and serves as a perfect example of why people dismiss them. The MC is written entirely for the purpose of giving the player a lens through which to view the world of Touhou. She has no defined personality so that any player can just pretend that she's a reflection of them. Frankly, it's a stretch to even call her a "character." She has amnesia, so she can't be proactive or have a meaningful contribution to the story. Everything just sorta happens around her, but she gets all the credit from the characters in-game since she, being a stand-in for the player, is the one controlling them. And just to really twist the knife, all of the characters in the game's stories have to be neutered. Not only does everyone have to play nice with the new girl, but they also have to play nice with each other, because you can't have the characters vehemently hating each other and being able to fight alongside each other in gameplay. It's totally cool to have Udonge, Junko, and the Watatsuki sisters fighting for the same team because the MC has the power of Christmas to bring people together or some nonsense like that... This deserves every bit of criticism it's received from the fandom. I hope this has at least given the discussion of OCs a bit of depth. I find the hatred for OCs to be a bit 1-dimensional. Even though OCs have a lot of problems and I wholeheartedly believe they should be criticized for them, OCs are also responsible for some of the best pieces of the fandom. Writing an OC is the same as writing any other character; it takes time and work and consideration, and it shows when an author doesn't put that in. But hey, ZUN doesn't bat a thousand either. Touhou's canon cast has its share of unlikable or unmemorable characters too.
  23. I really want to be able to empathize with User A. Like, I get it. There's definitely a lot of stuff in the Touhou fanon that I don't like. I don't like self-insert-posting, don't like horny-posting, and I want nothing to do with the 18+ material. I make no effort to hide my disdain for them. But it's just like User C says; I'm not obligated to consume fan material that goes against my headcanon, nor do I have to accept parts of the fanon that I don't agree with. I have the power and the agency to make that choice, unlike canon where I don't get any say in the matter. It's one of the reasons I believe that fanon is more important than canon when it comes to enjoying Touhou. On the matter of flanderization, I might be the odd one out for saying it, but I think flanderization has done more good for Touhou as a brand than bad. Touhou's pride and joy is the enormous ensemble of characters that are incredibly easy to recognize. If you ask me, the whole reason why they're so identifiable is because, thanks to these very condensed fanon personalities, you can know exactly who these characters are and what they're all about in just a few words. I don't need to read a college dissertation on the intricacies behind Cirno's personality because "the funny dumbass 9-head fairy" already gives me all the information I need to understand any piece of media she's in. Sure, flanderization simplifies the characters, but keeping things simple is the best way to get new people involved. No one wants to get started in a fandom by reading your thesis paper. They want something easy to follow, and if it catches their interest, they'll dig deeper on their own. If someone mistakes a shallow fanon interpretation of a character as canon, it seems pretty clear that they weren't that interested to begin with. And that's fine. It's fine to be a casual fan of Touhou content. Over the last year, I've gone through a lot of Touhou content, official and fanmade, and I've reached a conclusion on this franchise. Touhou is silly. This is a silly franchise staring goofy girls going on wacky adventures where they solve all their problems with magic dodgeball matches. There's seriously nothing here worth there being such a toxic debate over. I genuinely don't understand how the discussion in Count's post got so heated. It makes no sense to me.
  24. As an avid Shimmy-stan, this kind of shit has to be some of the most disgusting stuff to ever come out of the fandom. I'd love to hear someone try and justify abusing a character whose most defining characteristics are "being overly trusting of others" and "being smaller than everyone else," and come out of it still thinking they're a well-adjusted human being. Reminds me of when I found out there was a community of people who enjoyed watching snuff videos of monkeys being abused. I sure hope the people who support this stuff don't have any pets... Look hard enough, and "Gensokyo accepts everything" takes on a much more insidious meaning. As for the actual topic of the thread, I really wanna know why so many people love Tenshi so much. It's not like I have anything against her: She's got a cool hat. She's got a laser sword. That's pretty awesome. And she chows down on a peach that one time. In my mind, it's like "Yep. She fits the bill. She's definitely a Touhou character. Into the bin with the rest of 'em." But like, Tenshi's popular. Really popular, and I have no idea why. To be fair, though, I haven't played any of the fighting games where she actually appears, so maybe there's something there I missed out on. And for a character I just flat-out hate, I can't stand Seija. Like, she's designed from the ground up to be intentionally unlikable, and uhh... mission accomplished, I guess. She's supposed to always act opposite to everyone's desires. No matter the context, she will always antagonize anyone she's next to. That could work well for her while she has her villain role, but a big part of Touhou is that nearly every character stops being a villain after their connected incident is resolved. But Seija doesn't do that; by design, she can't do that. Whereas other characters are shown to be thoughtless, short-sighted, or self-serving, Seija is an actual malicious force who even enjoys being hated for her actions. And then to keep her around, the fandom has to strip her down into a cheap tsundere so they can ship her with Shinmyoumaru guilt-free. In a fandom rife with toxic pairings, I still think this one is the worst.
  25. I'm so sorry that happened to you, but it's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. Don't blame yourself for what happened. Ultimately, your ex was the one who made the decision to cheat. That's on her, not you. But, just like Nekofire said, you have a chance to learn from it and make sure it doesn't happen to you again. It's easy to miss or ignore red flags in a relationship when you're so focused on "I've gotta pull things together. I've gotta make things right. I've gotta make this relationship work." You're not at fault for wanting that; for making sacrifices for someone else. Relationships need that kind of care. But a real relationship requires that from both sides. If you're the only one pulling, then not only is it not going to be enough, but when things fall apart, they all fall over on top of you. I know you said you don't want to, but you really should talk to a friend about this. Don't hold it in and just share your feelings with a bunch of randos online. It's not that we aren't sincere with our replies, but there's this emotional disconnect. What we say might be comforting, but it can only do so much. And hey, you don't have to tell everyone. Just, someone you think closely of; someone who'd have your back. If not a friend, then maybe family. I know it's embarrassing and uncomfortable to put yourself in a position of vulnerability like that, but that vulnerability is what lets us really heal. As for what happens next, don't worry about it. You don't need to try and strong-arm yourself into feeling better faster. All of this is happening so quickly, and those emotions are running at fever-pitch right now. If you're hurt, angry, and sad, then let yourself be hurt, angry, and sad. Hard as it is in the moment, your feelings will sort themselves out in time. It's when we try to force ourselves into feeling a certain way that we lose control of ourselves. Take this time for yourself, and allow yourself to take this time for yourself. When it comes time to try a relationship again, you'll be much better off for it. No need to rush. Most of all, I hope you feel better. Breakups suck. I'm pretty confident everyone here has their own heartache story and its always hard to get through, but it does get better. And despite everything I just got through talking about letting your emotions take their time, nobody wants someone to stay in that bad place for long. Take care of yourself, and I hope you feel better soon.
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